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Nowadays, people follow same habits like eating food, watching TV channel and fashion. Do you think it is advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays, people follow same habits like eating food, watching TV channel and fashion. Do you think it is advantages outweigh disadvantages? pLqgL
In this modern era, lots of people who belong to different countries started to follow similar lifestyles, and they have same habits about eating and watching TV as well as fashion trend. From my perspective, this notion has certain benefits for individuals, whereas it also has some drawbacks which I will substantiate in my upcoming paragraphs. There is no doubt that individuals are sharing same interests all over the world which are beneficial for them. First and foremost, people can share same ideas, thoughts and passion which can help them to boost information about other nation's people even they can build strong bond. Consequently, they can easily comprehend each other as well as give respect other cultures too. In addition, every nation have their own music, food or fashion taste so they can enjoy all these things in there own country. For instance, McDonald's which one of the famous fast food cafe globally where folks can taste varieties of meal. Additionally, every country have McDonald's outlets so they don't need to go to other nations to enjoy these cuisines. On other side, this notion can effect on civilization. To elaborate, if people give more attention to other nations lifestyles then they can forget their own culture and tradition values. To exemplify, nowadays, people are following western culture they prefer to wear western clothes instead of their traditional clothes. However, it becomes to way that people start to forget about their rituals even new generation also not familiar with their ancient lifestyle. Therefore, people can lose the value of their own culture and it is threated that it can be disappeared in the future. To recapitulate, sharing same interests or habits are not bad idea because it can bring different people together but people also care about their own civilization existence for upcoming generation.
In this modern era, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who belong to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to follow similar lifestyles, and they have same habits about eating and watching TV
as well
as fashion trend. From my perspective, this notion has certain benefits for individuals, whereas it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which I will substantiate in my upcoming paragraphs.

There is no doubt that individuals are sharing same interests all over the world which are beneficial for them.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, thoughts and passion which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to boost information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even they can build strong bond.
Consequently
, they can
easily
comprehend each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as well
as give respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
too.
In addition
, every nation have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
music, food or fashion taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can enjoy all these things in there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
For instance
, McDonald's which one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
globally where folks can taste varieties of meal.
Additionally
, every country have McDonald's outlets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don't need to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations to enjoy these cuisines.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, this notion can effect on civilization. To elaborate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations lifestyles then they can forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition values. To exemplify, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are following western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they prefer to wear western clothes
instead
of their traditional clothes.
However
, it becomes to way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to forget about their rituals even new generation
also
not familiar with their ancient lifestyle.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lose the value of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
threated
that it can
be disappeared
in the future.

To recapitulate, sharing same interests or habits are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
care about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
civilization existence for upcoming generation.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people follow same habits like eating food, watching TV channel and fashion. Do you think it is advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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