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Nowadays a lot of people don't exercise. Why is that the case? What can be done about this issue?

Nowadays a lot of people don't exercise. Why is that the case? What can be done about this issue? gDPXO
There are a lot of difficult reasons faces so many people in the present time and force them to don’t make any sports or exercise. In this essay I will show that reasons and also some solution for that reasons. On the one hand, I believe that there are more reasons faces so many people. One main reason is time. This is because the people so busy between the work and daily life chores. To explain, nowadays so many people work so hard more than 10 hours every day resulting in a sleep on one’s feet and can’t make any sports. Moreover, nowadays there are so many entertainments which make a lot of people enjoy with entertainments and carelessness exercise. To exemplify, play stations and mobile games which designed for enjoy people and waste time. Furthermore, nowadays there are a lot of people don’t know about the culture of the health awareness. For example, a lot of people don’t read books or watch TV programs which help people to clarify about the importance of health. Obviously, there are more reasons faces so many people to practice sports such as time, entertainment, less the culture of the health awareness. The society should be encouraging people to practice exercise or sports. To explain, the society can organize one day a month for people to practice sports as bike racing or run racing. Moreover, most of companies should be encouraging all employees which work in those companies to practice sports. For insist, can companies organize sports competition and make football teams to play together for one day every month. Obviously, the society and work organization should be giving more importance for sports and exercise in life. In conclusion, the sports and exercise are high importance and we have to put in our life priorities, despite of all reason we are facing in our life such as time … etc.
There are a
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lot
of difficult
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reasons
faces
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so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
in the present
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time
and force them to don’t
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make
any
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sports
or
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exercise
. In this essay I will
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show
that
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reasons
and
also
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some
solution for that reasons.

On the one hand, I believe that there are more
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reasons
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
. One main
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reason
is
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time
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy between the
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work
and daily life chores. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
more than 10 hours every day resulting in a sleep on one’s feet and can’t
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make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Moreover
, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entertainments which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy with entertainments and carelessness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. To exemplify, play stations and mobile games which designed for enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Furthermore
, nowadays there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t know about the culture of the health awareness.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t read books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV programs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
to clarify about the importance of health.
Obviously
, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, entertainment, less the culture of the health awareness.

The society should be encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, the society can organize one day a month for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as bike racing or run racing.
Moreover
, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should be encouraging all employees which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. For insist, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
football teams to play together for one day every month.
Obviously
, the society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
organization should be giving more importance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in life.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
importance and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put in our life priorities,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
we are facing in our life such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
… etc.
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IELTS essay Nowadays a lot of people don't exercise. Why is that the case? What can be done about this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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