Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays people are working too much. Why is this? What are the effects?

Nowadays people are working too much. Why is this? What are the effects? 8xLRG
People nowadays are used to overworking. There are two certain reasons which cause to this, and it leads to health and interpersonal problems. To begin with, the main matter which forces people to work as long as they used to do in the past is that today's employers involve their employees to work as much as possible. It is a fact that most workers need to overwork not to lose their potential jobs. Teachers, for example, are being involved to work all days at school and university, and after finishing the job routine, they also have to do these responsibilities including checking student's assignments and preparation for an upcoming lesson. Additionally, people themselves are another vital aspects of the phenomenon. They want to lead life full by achieving life long ambition such as luxuries. Thus, people work over and over to earn more then a decent living. For instance, in the past people did not use to have technologies and cars which people today are trying to achieve their personal fulfillments. Unfortunately, the phenomenon has some negative effects on their personal health and social life. In a family, which parents work 9 to 5, the children are likely to have anti-social behavior, and can not concentrate on what they study as they are not enough controlled by their parents. Moreover there might not be rewarding relationship between parents and children. As a result, the parents are unlikely to get on with their children. This is what puts extra pressure on themselves. This lead to a life full of disappointments while they want to live as good as they can by overworking to supply their children and themselves as well. When they have overworked for a few years, they automatically have mental problem such as stress which leads to the severe issues they never expect, for example, insomnia. In conclusion, what people want to achieve and employers involve to do are the reasons of this phenomenon. More badly, it can cause to break down links parents and children today have and sometimes uncureable disease.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to overworking. There are two certain reasons which cause to this, and it leads to health and interpersonal problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main matter which forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as long as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in the past is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's employers involve their employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as much as possible. It is a fact that most workers need to overwork not to lose their potential jobs. Teachers,
for example
, are
being involved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
all days at school and university, and after finishing the job routine, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do these responsibilities including checking student's assignments and preparation for an upcoming lesson.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves are another vital aspects of the phenomenon. They want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
full by achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
long ambition such as luxuries.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
over and over to earn more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
a decent living.
For instance
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
have technologies and cars which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are trying to achieve their personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfillments
.

Unfortunately, the phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their personal health and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In a family, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
9 to 5, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to have anti-social behavior, and can not concentrate on what they study as they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
controlled by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
there might not be rewarding relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is what puts extra pressure on themselves. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
full of disappointments while they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as they can by overworking to supply their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and themselves
as well
. When they have overworked for a few years, they
automatically
have mental problem such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which leads to the severe issues they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
,
for example
, insomnia.
In conclusion
, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to achieve and employers involve to do are the reasons of this phenomenon. More
badly
, it can cause
Did you mean "breaking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to break
down links
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncureable
disease.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays people are working too much. Why is this? What are the effects?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts