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Nowadays people are spending increasingly large amount of money on their marriage party

Nowadays people are spending increasingly large amount of money on their marriage party M69o
In these days many people are spending huge amount of money on their wedding party besides large and expensive marriages cause disturbance for the groom and bride. In this essay i am totally agreed that people in these days celebrate marriage parties lavishly. For instance, in India people are very enthusiastic about wedding ceremonies. they exhausted their entire savings on the grand celebrations like wedding and birthday parties as well. They also prefer to wear high cost clothes, extraordinary footwear and other exorbitant jewellery to show off. Although, many Indians believe that marriage play an essential role and occurance once in a life. So they wold like to spend all their savings on wedding. However, people also believe that large amount spending on wedding can cause a bride and groom. In my opinion expensive marriage cannot cause any problem instead they only have problems with their skin because of large amount of makeup and cosmetics products is use to look elegant. Sometime they use heavy outfits to wear which can leads to problem to both bride and groom. In conclusion, huge amount of money spending on wedding ceremonies is becoming very common trend. Although, expensive marriage can also cause some problems.
In these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
party
besides
large and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
disturbance for the groom and bride.

In this essay
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these days celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
parties
lavishly
.
For instance
, in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enthusiastic about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
exhausted their entire savings on the grand celebrations like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and birthday parties
as well
. They
also
prefer to wear high cost clothes, extraordinary footwear and other exorbitant
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indians believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
play an essential role and
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurance
once in a life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "they would"?
they wold
like to spend all their savings on wedding.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
believe that large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
can
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cause
a bride and groom. In my opinion expensive
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marriage
cannot
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cause
any
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problem
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their skin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of makeup and cosmetics products is
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
look elegant. Sometime they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
heavy outfits to wear which can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to both bride and groom.

In conclusion
, huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common trend.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.

IELTS essay Nowadays people are spending increasingly large amount of money on their marriage party

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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