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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? QL8aX
“Childrens are free birds” These Days mother and father pressurise their upbringing to become successful. Competition might be the major cause of this notion and several other reasons as well. As per my view, imposing anything forcefully on children could result in negative development. Further in the essay shall put a light on this phenomenon. There may be certain factors of pressurising offspring by parents. Firstly, In today's competitive environment every wellbeing dream is to see his/her child in a good reputed position. Such as doctor, engineer, IPS, CEO and many more. And from childhood they start studying for the whole day rather than playing games and developing co-curricular activities. Secondly, Most of the parents are concerned about their future so they bound them to coaching and other academic activities, as they want them to become very successful in life. Lastly, because of love and affection for their children they don't want to see them struggling which is why they put all possible efforts on them in childhood for their glorious future. In the rush of making their future fruitful this also opens up a door of negative impact. Depression and sucide rate in youngsters rapidly increase because of academic pressure on childrens. Every individual has their own interest, not all are good in academics. If the parents imposed their dreams on them they are not able to give hundred percent in studies this could be a reason that childrens fail in exams and in fear of parents they attempt sucide. For example, Survey in America by one NGO found that around 70% of school students are in depression and 20 to 30% attempted sucide because of too much pressure of studies. To sum up, childrens are so sensitive apparently childhood is the most crucial phase of human development. In my opinion, putting too much pressure of studies and bounding them in anything is not beneficial.
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childrens
are free birds” These Days mother and father
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurise' is British English.
pressurise
their upbringing to become successful. Competition might be the major cause of this notion and several other reasons
as well
. As per my view, imposing anything
forcefully
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
in the essay shall put a light on this phenomenon.

There may be certain factors of
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurising' is British English.
pressurising
offspring by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Firstly
, In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive environment every
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
dream is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his/her child in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputed position. Such as doctor, engineer, IPS, CEO and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. And from childhood they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying for the whole day
rather
than playing games and developing co-curricular activities.
Secondly
, Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
about their future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they bound them to coaching and other academic activities, as they want them to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in life.

Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they don't want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them struggling which is why they put all possible efforts on them in childhood for their glorious future.

In the rush of making their future fruitful this
also
opens up a door of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. Depression and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
rate in youngsters
rapidly
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of academic pressure on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
. Every individual has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest, not all are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in academics. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
imposed their dreams on them they are not able to give
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent in studies this could be a reason that
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
fail in exams and in fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they attempt
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
.
For example
, Survey in America by one NGO found that around 70% of school students are in depression and 20 to 30% attempted
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too much pressure of studies.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sensitive
apparently
childhood is the most crucial phase of human development. In my opinion, putting too much pressure of studies and bounding them in anything is not beneficial.
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IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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