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money is important in most people's lives Although some people think it's more important than others, What do you feel are the right uses of money, What other factor are important for a good life

money is important in most people's lives Although some people think it's more important than others, What do you feel are the right uses of money, What other factor are important for a good life 56AQn
Money important thing in our lives, If we concerned about wealthy life. Nowadays education is very costly, school and tuition fees higher than before, so generally people spent their money on that. Another thing is luxurious life, for house and car or bike. Using money we can buy most of the things we want for pleasure, Last but not least it's important for charity so we can help others. Apart from money other factor also very important as per my opinion, That is health, as we can see the current pandemic of covid-19 we must say health is an important aspect. People can't enjoy what they earned if they don't have good health, We have the community among them we should live so we also need some respect and good relationship with them. the respect and feelings we can not buy it will be earned by attitude and skills. In history, we know the example of great Alexandar Sikandar who won almost the world and had a plethora of money, yet in the end, he died by illness. there were other examples also where very wealthy people who had not happy with their family. In summary of this is, money is important but it's not must important thing Because people lives in penury still they happy with their life so money can't buy happiness or health.
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Money
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important
thing in our
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lives
, If we concerned about wealthy life. Nowadays education is
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very
costly, school and tuition fees higher than
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before
,
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so
generally
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people
spent their
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money
on that. Another thing is luxurious life, for
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house
and car or bike. Using
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money
we can
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buy
most of the things we want for pleasure, Last
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but
not least it's
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important
for charity
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so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others.

Apart from
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money
other factor
also
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very
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important
as per my opinion,
That is
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health
, as we can
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see
the
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current
pandemic of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
we
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must
say
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health
is an
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important
aspect.
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People
can't enjoy what they earned if they don't have
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good
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health
, We have the community among them we should
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live
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so
we
also
need
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some
respect and
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good
relationship with them.
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the
respect and feelings we can not
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buy
it will
be earned
by attitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In history, we know the example of great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alexandar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sikandar
who won almost the world and had a plethora of
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money
,
yet
in the
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end
, he
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died
by illness.
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there
were other examples
also
where
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very
wealthy
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people
who had not happy with their family.

In summary of this is,
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money
is
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important
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but
it's not
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must
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important
thing
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Because
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
in penury
still
they happy with their life
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so
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money
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay money is important in most people's lives Although some people think it's more important than others, What do you feel are the right uses of money, What other factor are important for a good life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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