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In recent years, several countries have a big proportion of young people in comparison to the number of older people. Having a good number of young people is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major risks and they can start their own business but there are also some major drawbacks. People are more capable of taking risks at their early ages which help them to do something big for their country as well as their society. As a youth, they don’t have to take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and as a result, they are more capable of taking risks. Furthermore, the young people can start their own business or their own startup. If young people can start their business at an early age, it will help them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will help the country to reduce the number of unemployed people. The main problem for young people will be experience. The young more have no experiences, and in most of t

In recent years, several countries have a big proportion of young people in comparison to the number of older people. Having a good number of young people is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major risks and they can start their own business but there are also some major drawbacks. People are more capable of taking risks at their early ages which help them to do something big for their country as well as their society. As a youth, they don’t have to take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and as a result, they are more capable of taking risks. Furthermore, the young people can start their own business or their own startup. If young people can start their business at an early age, it will help them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will help the country to reduce the number of unemployed people. The main problem for young people will be experience. The young more have no experiences, and in most of t xmgN6
In recent years, several countries have a big proportion of young people in comparison to the number of older people. Having a good number of young people is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major risks and they can start their own business but there are also some major drawbacks. People are more capable of taking risks at their early ages which help them to do something big for their country as well as their society. As young people, they don’t have to take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and as a result, they are more capable of taking risks. Furthermore, young people can start their own business or their startup. If young people can start their business at an early age, it will help them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will help the country to reduce the number of unemployed people. The main problem for young people will be experienced. The young more have no experiences, and most of the times they will make wrong decisions. Consequently, it will make them face early failure, and it may happen they just stop their business to cope up with the loss. Besides, young people lack patience. In business or startup, patience is the main way to expand their work. As young people, they usually don’t have the patience, and they can make decisions in a hurry that won’t bring any positive sides to their business. To sum up, having a large number of young people is a positive side for a country but older people are equally important as young people lack experience and patience.
In recent years, several
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countries
have a
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big
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in comparison
to the
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number
of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
risks and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major drawbacks.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are more capable of taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
at their early ages which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
for their
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country
as well
as their society. As
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and
as a result
, they are more capable of taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or their startup. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
at an early age, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
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country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
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number
of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The main problem for
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be experienced
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
more have no experiences, and
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions.
Consequently
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them face early failure, and it may happen they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their
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business
to cope up with the loss.
Besides
,
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patience
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or startup,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patience
is the main way to expand their work. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
usually
don’t have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patience
, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions in a hurry that won’t bring any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides to their business.

To sum up, having a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patience
.
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IELTS essay In recent years, several countries have a big proportion of young people in comparison to the number of older people. Having a good number of young people is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major risks and they can start their own business but there are also some major drawbacks. People are more capable of taking risks at their early ages which help them to do something big for their country as well as their society. As a youth, they don’t have to take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and as a result, they are more capable of taking risks. Furthermore, the young people can start their own business or their own startup. If young people can start their business at an early age, it will help them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will help the country to reduce the number of unemployed people. The main problem for young people will be experience. The young more have no experiences, and in most of t

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • In recent years, several countries have a big proportion of young people in comparison to the number of older people. Having a good number of young people is beneficial as youth are more capable of taking major risks and they can start their own business but there are also some major drawbacks. People are more capable of taking risks at their early ages which help them to do something big for their country as well as their society. As a youth, they don’t have to take responsibility for their family which creates hardly any pressure on them, and as a result, they are more capable of taking risks. Furthermore, the young people can start their own business or their own startup. If young people can start their business at an early age, it will help them to gain more experience, and they will need more employees which will help the country to reduce the number of unemployed people. The main problem for young people will be experience. The young more have no experiences, and in most of t