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Leader and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Leader and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. v. 2
It is irrefutable mostly team managers are elder employees. According to some, the younger individuals as a leader are more competent and can give better outputs. I disagree with the notion and believe that experience matters a lot in becoming a leader. Experience is the major factor in any organization to lead and mostly younger individuals are inadequate with experience, therefore companies prefer to choose aged people. Important decisions and holding nerves during crises situations can only learnt through experience which are vital for the organization to run the business smoothly all the time. A recent survey from Management college of India, revealed that only 10 per cent business survive with young leaders in Maharashtra state, for that reason experience makes a difference for any organization and they select older individuals over younger one. Another factor is the respect and employees listen to elder leaders as compared to new comer. It is obvious that elder heads are treated in a respected way and employees often follow their ideas and guidelines without questioning them. Older team leader is working for long time with other employees and they do not prove their capabilities, therefore people respect them and follow their paths without a query. Comparing new comers need to prove their talent and skills before commanding any time in the department and it takes time. In conclusion, usually in organizations employee listen to elders and behave in good manners with them and capacity to deliver crucial decisions during emergency to maintain the business reputation can only be learnt through experience and young leaders lack that potential, therefore I believe that elder employees are better leaders.
It is irrefutable
mostly
team managers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, the younger individuals as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
are more competent and can give better outputs. I disagree with the notion and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
matters a lot in becoming a leader.

Experience is the major factor in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
to lead and
mostly
younger individuals are inadequate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer to choose aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
decisions and holding nerves during crises situations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which are vital for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
to run the business
smoothly
all the time. A recent survey from Management college of India, revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10 per cent business survive with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
in Maharashtra state, for that reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a difference for any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
organization and
they select older individuals over younger one.

Another factor is the respect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
as compared to
Did you mean "newcomer"?
new comer
. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
heads
are treated
Consider replacing "in a respected way" with the adverb for "respected"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a respected way
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and guidelines without questioning them. Older team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is working for long time with other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employees and
they do not prove their capabilities,
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
respect them and follow their paths without a query. Comparing
Did you mean "newcomers"?
new comers
need to prove their talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commanding any time in the department and it takes time.

In conclusion
,
usually
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
and behave in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners with them and capacity to deliver crucial decisions during emergency to maintain the business reputation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
lack that potential,
therefore
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Leader and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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