Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays, obesity is increasing in a rapid pace. The reasons of it and how to tackle this issue

Nowadays, obesity is increasing in a rapid pace. The reasons of it and how to tackle this issue NrwkW
IN THIS DAY AN AGE, THERE IS AN EVER-INCREASING NUMBER OF OBESE PEOPLE. IN THIS ESSAY, I WILL EXPLAIN WHY THERE ARE MORE OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE BASED ON PEOPLE'S HEALTH HABITS AND PEOPLE'S WORK. ALSO, WILL SUGGEST TWO MEAUSURES TO ADDRESS THIS MATTER. TO BEGIN WITH, THERE ARE TWO MAIN REASONS WHY OBESITY HAS INCREASED. FIRSTLY, PEOPLE TEND TO EAT MORE JUNK FOOD THESE DAYS GIVEN THAT THEY HAVE MANY RESPONSIBLITIES TO COVER BOTH PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL SIDE. PEOPLE, FOR INSTANCE, DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO COOK HEALTH FOOD (CONTAINING PROTEINS AND MINERALS) SINCE THEY ARE TOO INVOLVED IN MANY ACTIVITIES AT THE SAME TIME SUCH AS RAISING THEIR CHILDREN AND WORKING. SO PARENTS USE TO PREPARING FATTY FOOD REGARLESS OF WHETHER IT IS BENEFICIAL FOR THEIR HEALTH OR NOT. SECONDLY, THE NUMBER OF TECHNOLOGY-ORIENTED PEOPLE HAVE INCREASED THANKS TO BREAKTROUGH OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES. THEREFORE, MORE PEOPLE SPEND MANY HOURS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTERS WHITOUT DOING EXERCISES, WHICH IS DETRIMENTAL TO PEOPLE'S HEALTH. THERE ARE SOME SOLUTIONS IN ORDER TO TACKLE THIS PROBLEM. ONE SUGGESTION IS THAT PARENTS MIGHT AS WELL PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR FOOD HABITS AND TRY TO CHANGE THEM FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND SO AST TO AVOID HEALTH DISORDERS. FURTHERMORE, I RECOMMEND FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO PROPEL HEALTH CAMPAINS ON MASS MEDIA FORWARD SOCIETY WILL RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING A SEDENTARY LIFE AND NOT EATING HEALTHY. THEREFORE, THE MORE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT OBESITY, THE FEWER PEOPLE WILL SUFFER FROM IT AND OTHER HEALTH CONDITION. TO SUM UP, THERE IS MORE THAN MEET THE EYE WHEN IT COMES TO OBESITY, NOWADAYS, SOME PEOPLE BECOME ILL DUE TO THE LACK OF BALANCE ON THEIR FOOD AS WELL AS THE KIND OF JOB THAT THEY PERFORM. THIS PROBLEM COULD BE REDUCED BY DEPLOYING AWARENESS LAWS AND REFLECTING ON THE QUALITY OF FOOD THAT WE EAT AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES.
IN THIS DAY AN AGE, THERE IS AN EVER-INCREASING NUMBER OF OBESE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
. IN THIS ESSAY, I WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
WHY THERE ARE MORE OVERWEIGHT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
BASED ON
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
'S
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
HABITS AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
'S WORK.
ALSO
, WILL SUGGEST TWO
Possible spelling mistake found.
MEAUSURES
TO ADDRESS THIS MATTER.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
WITH, THERE ARE TWO MAIN REASONS WHY OBESITY HAS INCREASED.
FIRSTLY
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TEND TO EAT MORE JUNK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
THESE DAYS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
THAT THEY HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESPONSIBLITIES
TO COVER BOTH PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL SIDE.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
,
FOR INSTANCE
, DO NOT HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
TIME TO COOK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
(CONTAINING PROTEINS AND MINERALS) SINCE THEY ARE TOO INVOLVED IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
ACTIVITIES AT THE SAME TIME SUCH AS RAISING THEIR CHILDREN AND WORKING.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
PARENTS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
TO PREPARING FATTY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
Possible spelling mistake found.
REGARLESS
OF WHETHER IT IS BENEFICIAL FOR THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
OR NOT.
SECONDLY
, THE NUMBER OF TECHNOLOGY-ORIENTED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE INCREASED THANKS TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
BREAKTROUGH
OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES.
THEREFORE
, MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
SPEND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
HOURS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTERS
Possible spelling mistake found.
WHITOUT
DOING EXERCISES, WHICH IS DETRIMENTAL TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
'S HEALTH.

THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SOLUTIONS IN ORDER TO TACKLE THIS PROBLEM. ONE SUGGESTION IS THAT PARENTS MIGHT
AS WELL
PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
HABITS AND TRY TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
THEM FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
AST TO AVOID
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
DISORDERS.
FURTHERMORE
, I RECOMMEND FOR THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
TO PROPEL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
Possible spelling mistake found.
CAMPAINS
ON MASS MEDIA FORWARD SOCIETY WILL RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING A SEDENTARY LIFE AND NOT EATING HEALTHY.
THEREFORE
, THE MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
KNOW ABOUT OBESITY, THE FEWER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL SUFFER FROM IT AND OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
CONDITION.

TO SUM UP, THERE IS MORE THAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MEET
THE EYE WHEN IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
TO OBESITY, NOWADAYS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
BECOME ILL DUE TO THE LACK OF BALANCE ON THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
AS WELL
AS THE KIND OF JOB THAT THEY PERFORM. THIS PROBLEM COULD BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCED
BY DEPLOYING AWARENESS LAWS AND REFLECTING ON THE QUALITY OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
THAT WE EAT AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays, obesity is increasing in a rapid pace. The reasons of it and how to tackle this issue

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts