Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. with this opinion? 3a0mJ
The argument that parents no longer give adequate attention to their offsprings when contrasted with old times is agreeable. Work-life balance and social media strongly contribute to this. This essay will discuss them both, and also encourage parents to create more family time. Due to hectic working hours imposed on employees by some organizations, parents are not afforded so much free time. For instance, modern-day companies in a bid to outshine the competition, make workers, some of whom are parents stay at the office for long hours, this leads to tiredness when they get home. Hence, they are not able to play or even have meaningful conversations with their family. The internet also causes adults to digress from taking care of kids under their custody. Furthermore, a good amount of time is dedicated by parents to social media apps such as Instagram, Facebook and Whatsapp. On these platforms, they like pictures, comment on posts and engage in irrelevant topics, this causes them to neglect their social responsibility which is bonding with their children. Consequently, this leads to the children partaking in activities that are harmful to their health. For example, in Nigeria The Drug Enforcement Agency reports that a great ratio of drug abusers are minors, this could however be averted if they were advised by their guardians. Parents however, have a role to play which is creating a balance between work and personal life. This can be done by arranging family games. To conclude, family is an important aspect of life. As such people who have children should carve out time to discuss and play with them. In addition, less time should be dedicated to trivial things on the internet, this will further spur up interest to engage with these children.
The argument that
parents
no longer give adequate attention to their
offsprings
when contrasted with
old
times
is agreeable. Work-life balance and social media
strongly
contribute to this. This essay will discuss them both, and
also
encourage
parents
to create more family time.

Due to hectic working hours imposed on employees by
some
organizations,
parents
are not afforded
so
much free
time
.
For instance
, modern-day
companies
in a bid to outshine the competition,
make
workers,
some
of whom are
parents
stay at the office for long hours, this leads to tiredness when they
get
home.
Hence
, they are not able to play or even have meaningful conversations with their family.

The internet
also
causes adults to digress from taking care of kids under their custody.
Furthermore
, a
good
amount of
time
is dedicated
by
parents
to social media apps such as Instagram, Facebook and
Whatsapp
. On these platforms, they like pictures, comment on posts and engage in irrelevant topics, this causes them to neglect their social responsibility which is bonding with their
children
.
Consequently
, this leads to the
children
partaking in activities that are harmful to their health.
For example
, in Nigeria The Drug Enforcement Agency reports that a great ratio of drug abusers are minors, this could
however
be averted
if they
were advised
by their guardians.
Parents
however
, have a role to play which is creating a balance between work and personal life. This can
be done
by arranging family games.

To conclude
, family is an
important
aspect of life. As such
people
who have
children
should carve out
time
to discuss and play with them.
In addition
, less
time
should
be dedicated
to trivial things on the internet, this will
further
spur up interest to engage with these
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts