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Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. v. 2
In the contemporary era, the individual's privacy is being opened up because the newspapers have published every minor detail. Thus, it is often argued that the authority should outlaw the publication of futile information, whereas there still remain some disagreement in this view. From my perspective, the journal should focus on the indispensable news instead of disturbing another person's personal space. This essay will highlight both opinions and also elaborate the need of controlling the irrelevant news. On the one hand, these days, the news reporters are only concerned about the profit margins because of that they publish the information regarding the private growth of the public rather than the authentic news. Hence, the legislator ought to control the redundant information by enacting strict rules and regulations. Similarly, the journalist will be emboldened to publish the current issue. To illustrate, if the newspaper upload the news regarding the rape, murder, terrorist attacks, the general public will be aware. As a result, the crime rate would be eliminated from the globe. On the other hand, though the magazines play a significant role in individuals everyday life, it is often published the activities of individuals' private life, especially, the activity of the eminent personalities. This is because the teenagers consider them as a role model. For instance, the lifestyles and the diligence of the actors have been uploaded in a plethora of the online media, which will inspire millions of the population. Consequently, this will bring positive changes in the individuals' lives. In conclusion, even though the publication of the news in the private life of the well -known persons will inspire the youth to perform a better in the future, it can lead to various problems. Therefore, it is significant to control such news in order to create the public awareness.
In the contemporary era, the individual's privacy is
being opened
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the newspapers have published every minor detail.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the authority should outlaw the publication of futile information, whereas there
still
remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement in this view. From my perspective, the journal should focus on the indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
instead
of disturbing another person's personal space. This essay will highlight both opinions and
also
elaborate the need of controlling the irrelevant news.

On the one hand, these days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reporters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concerned about the profit margins
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they publish the information regarding the private growth of the public
rather
than the authentic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Hence
, the legislator ought to control the redundant information by enacting strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
Similarly
, the journalist will
be emboldened
to publish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issue. To illustrate, if the newspaper upload the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
regarding the rape, murder, terrorist attacks, the
Consider using "public".
general public
will be aware.
As a result
, the crime rate would
be eliminated
from the globe.

On the other hand
, though the magazines play a significant role in individuals everyday life, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
published the activities of individuals' private life,
especially
, the activity of the eminent personalities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
consider them as a role model.
For instance
, the lifestyles and the diligence of the actors have
been uploaded
in a plethora of the online media, which will inspire millions of the population.
Consequently
, this will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the individuals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
,
even though
the publication of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the private life of the well -known persons will inspire the youth to perform a better in the future, it can lead to various problems.
Therefore
, it is significant to control such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in order to create the public awareness.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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