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Nowadays most people are being employed for long hours for various reasons.

Nowadays most people are being employed for long hours for various reasons. According to me, one of the main important aspects is due to having a workload at their office, because most of the companies want their workers to work more hours to finish the assigned task. In some countries like India, the regulations are a bit rigid and they won't follow workplace rules. Their main motto is to complete the project in time, but they don't consider the employees who are working for them. Companies want to earn more profits and pay peanuts to the employees. Some people would like to work for extended hours because of their commitment to earn money and dedicate their family, a more satisfactory life. On the other hand, we can't blame the employers as well, because even in some cases employees become lazy and they will postpone their assigned task so to complete the task before deadline they need to work for long hours to finish the project. As per my experience performing extended hours will cause you some serious health problems like stress and body pain and also both physical and mental issues. It is harmful to humans to work long hours because you are working for a long period which is not good for health. But at a young age, as everyone is hungry to earn money but after middle age, they are going to face long-term effects on their body. So I don't prefer anyone to work for long hours instead of that they can divide the work into small parts.
Nowadays most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
being employed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for various reasons.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, one of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects is due to having a workload at their office,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
want their workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to finish the assigned task.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries like India, the regulations are a bit
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rigid and
they won't follow workplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Their main motto is to complete the project in time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't consider the employees who are working for them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
want to earn more profits and pay peanuts to the employees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their commitment to earn money and dedicate their family, a more satisfactory life.
On the other hand
, we can't blame the employers
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases employees become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
they will postpone their assigned task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to complete the task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deadline they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to finish the project.

As per my experience performing extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will cause you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious health problems like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and body pain and
also
both physical and mental issues. It is harmful to humans to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at a young age, as everyone is hungry to earn money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after middle age, they are going to face long-term effects on their body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I don't prefer anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
instead
of that they can divide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
parts.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most people are being employed for long hours for various reasons.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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