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Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organisations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skills is more important and useful than money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organisations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skills is more important and useful than money. rd1o
These days, global bodies help economically to developing nations to improve their healthcare, education, and tourism sector. While many people believe that this is a positive approach from international organizations, others opine that instead of financial support from global bodies, developing nations should be given help to enhance people’s practical knowledge. In my opinion, money support is more worthy. On the one side of the argument, people believe that economical aid to progressive nations from the global bodies is more important. I completely agree with the statement and the most compelling reason for believing this is that developing nations require help in health sector. Because many developing countries do not have funds to improve their health services, global bodies like WHO raise funds to them. Hence, economical support for improving health services is important. Furthermore, global organizations raise funds for the education sector. Since these nations lack quality educational institutions for poor people organizations like UNESCO and UNICEF provide money to avail quality education to the poor. Therefore, money support is proved to be worthy. On the other hand, there are people who believe that practical skills and other forms of suggestions are more important than money. The reason for believing this is that people can learn new techniques and use them to earn money. When a person get support to increase his technical knowledge he can acquire good knowledge and he can apply his skills to his job and can get a promotion. As a result, Global bodies help in order to enhance practical knowledge of a person so that he becomes independent and get good exposure in his life. In conclusion, while both the views are held commonly in society. I believe that in order to improve health services and for providing quality education to the needy requires money. Therefore financial support from global organizations is more significant.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
economically
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
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nations
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their healthcare,
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education
, and tourism sector. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
approach from international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, others opine that
instead
of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
practical knowledge. In my opinion,
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is more worthy.

On the one side of the argument,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
aid to progressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and the most compelling reason for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries do not have funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
like WHO raise funds to them.
Hence
,
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
raise funds for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
lack quality educational institutions for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
like UNESCO and UNICEF provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to avail quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the poor.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is proved
to be worthy.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and other forms of suggestions are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The reason for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn new techniques and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to increase his technical knowledge he can acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
he can apply his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to his job and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in order to enhance
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
practical


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
knowledge
of a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he becomes independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure in his life.

In conclusion
, while both the views
are held
commonly
in society. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and for providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the needy
The word 'requires' is not a noun. Did you mean "requirements"?
requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
is more significant.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most developing countries receive financial aid from international organisations. However, many people believe that help in a form of advice and skills is more important and useful than money.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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