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Nowadays most children struggle with obesity. What are the causes and solutions?

Nowadays most children struggle with obesity. What are the causes and solutions? xmBGo
Currently nearly one out of 4 children and teens face overweight and obesity. Those extra weights put kids at risk for developing serious health problems such as diabetes, heart disease. Parents should pay attention to identify the cause and prevent it. In this essay, I will explain couse and solutions to his problem. Obesity may occur for a variety of reasons. Firstly, it is necessary to determine reasons is busy families cooking at homeless and eating out more. These foods can be fast foods and junk food hence more and more children are observing day by day because of lack of some kind of vitamins for their health. Moreover, kids consuming huge amounts of sugar-sweetened drinks and foods. It affects to develop children's growth. Finally, more children spending timeless for activities. Currently, they merely prefer to sit in solitude at home, watching movies on TV and they could have been playing computer games non-stop for several hours instead of play some kind of games outside with their friends. To prevent this should be avoided various harmful foods and drinks. Instead, parents should prepare healthy meals from different natural products such as vegetables and fruits. Parents also make a huge impact on their children’s health by getting involved with the details of their lives. Spending time with their kids—talking about their day, playing, reading, cooking—can supply them with the self-esteem boost they may need to make positive changes. In addition, parents try to take and join to various sports clubs due to not obesity and to follow a healthy lifestyle. to prevent such diseases, parents should work in consultation with specialists To conclude, an increasing number of obese child's day by day. Overweight children often possess trouble keeping up with other kids and joining other sports and activities. Other kids may tease and exclude them, leading to low self-esteem, negative body image, and even depression, Hence parents should take special care of this matter.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
nearly
one out of 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teens face overweight and obesity. Those extra weights put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for developing serious health problems such as diabetes, heart disease.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should pay attention to identify the cause and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
and solutions to his problem.

Obesity may occur for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
, it is necessary to determine reasons is busy families cooking at homeless and eating out more. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
hence
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are observing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of vitamins for their health.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
consuming huge amounts of sugar-sweetened drinks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. It affects to develop children's growth.
Finally
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending timeless for activities.
Currently
, they
merely
prefer to sit in solitude at home, watching movies on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
TV and
they could have been playing computer games non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
for several hours
instead
of play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of games outside with their friends.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this should
be avoided
various harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and drinks.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should prepare healthy meals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
natural products such as vegetables and fruits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health by getting involved with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Spending time with their kids—talking about their day, playing, reading, cooking—can supply them with the self-esteem boost they may need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
try to take and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to various sports clubs due to not obesity and to follow a healthy lifestyle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should work in consultation with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
specialists


To conclude
, an increasing number of obese child's day by day. Overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
possess trouble keeping up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and joining other sports and activities. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
may tease and exclude them, leading to low self-esteem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
body image, and even depression,
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take special care of this matter.
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IELTS essay Nowadays most children struggle with obesity. What are the causes and solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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