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Nowadays, more people watch sport on TV rather than play it. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more people watch sport on TV rather than play it. Is it a positive or negative development? YLR1B
It is true that there are an increase in number of people choosing to watch sport on television instead of playing it. This essay will think that the negative and positive effects of this phenomenol are in equal measure. On the one hand, watching sport on TV can be advantageous, for reasons related to enhancing connectivity and encouraging people to play sports. With regard to the former, families who share the same interest in sport can choose to spend their quality time and relax for watching sports on television with each other. Some sports are played on holidays and weekend, and therefore, contributes to bringing families together and enhancing interaction between family members. Moreover, people can expand their social circle by watching sports with others who also follow the same sport team. The second point is that when people who have watched and attracted by some particular sports, they might be more likely to get out and play sports themselves. In the long run, they will take that sport as a needed exercise, which can get them to be more active and healthier, especially to the youngsters. This tendency of watching sports, nevertheless, could be considered from the opposite angle in terms of people's health and weath inquality. Chief among these is that if people spend too much time for watching TV, which also means they sit down for long time, this can lead to some health's risk of sedentary lifestyle. According to some expert opinions, every two additional hours people spent watching TV, a person's risk of death from heart disease and diabetes will rise significantly. As far as the second idea is concerned, a large number of views frequently can lead to players being given enormous salaries, thereby increasing income disparity among athletes in different sports and social envy. This may be considered bad for society, particularly when certain sport stars with such income behave badly in public places or on social media, which can negatively influence to people who look up to them, especially the young. To summarise, the trend of watching sports on TV rather than playing it will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals.
It is true that there are an increase in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on television
instead
of playing it. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of this
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenomenol
are in equal measure.

On the one hand, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on TV can be advantageous, for reasons related to enhancing connectivity and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. With regard to the former, families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
share the same interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can choose to spend their quality time and relax for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on television with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are played
on holidays and weekend, and
therefore
, contributes to bringing families together and enhancing interaction between family members.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can expand their social circle by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
also
follow the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
team. The second point is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
and attracted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they might be more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
themselves. In the long run, they will take that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a needed exercise, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them to be more active and healthier,
especially
to the youngsters.

This tendency of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
nevertheless
, could
be considered
from the opposite angle in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and
Possible spelling mistake found.
weath
Possible spelling mistake found.
inquality
. Chief among
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend too much time for watching TV, which
also
means they sit down for long time, this can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of sedentary lifestyle. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expert opinions, every two additional hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent watching TV, a person's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of death from heart disease and diabetes will rise
significantly
. As far as the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is concerned
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
views
frequently
can lead to players being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
enormous salaries, thereby increasing income disparity among athletes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social envy. This may
be considered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for society,
particularly
when certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
stars with such income behave
badly
in public places or on social media, which can
negatively
influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
look up to them,
especially
the young.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the trend of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on TV
rather
than playing it will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more people watch sport on TV rather than play it. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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