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Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What solutions could you suggest? v.1

Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What solutions could you suggest? v. 1
These days, older people are fighting for a place in jobs with numerous young people. There are a variety of problems caused by this issue, but certain measures could be taken to alleviate this problem. There are several problems caused by this situation. The main one is that older people are having difficulties finding jobs. As most of the jobs is taken away by young people, older people do not stand a chance for an interview as companies reject them. In addition, when elderly people do not have a job, they are faced with financial burdens as they do not have any income sources. Hence, those older people that have to keep up with the cost of living and is the only breadwinner in the family will be facing financial problems. Various possible courses of action could be taken in order to tackle the above. In the first place, the government can provide free training for older people. This is an opportunity for them to learn a new skill or brush up on their existing skill. In that way, they are better prepared to enter the workforce. Another way forward could be for the government to encourage companies to not turn away older people. For instance, instead of only recruiting and training new young employees, companies should consider hiring older people. There are also beneficial in hiring older people as they have more experiences and can be a mentor to the younger employee, this might bring greater benefit to the company. In conclusion, older people job places taken away by young people have led to various problems, but this situation could be addressed by implementing courses for the older people and encouraging companies to support older people in the workforce. Given this situation, it is recommended that the government ensure the welfare of older people in the work sector and that companies actively hire older people.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fighting for a place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are a variety of problems caused by this issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certain measures could
be taken
to alleviate this problem.

There are several problems caused by this situation. The main one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having difficulties finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. As most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is taken
away by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not stand a chance for an interview as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
reject them.
In addition
, when elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they
are faced
with financial burdens as they do not have any income sources.
Hence
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the cost of living and is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
breadwinner in the family will be facing financial problems.

Various possible courses of action could
be taken
in order to tackle the above. In the
first
place, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can provide free training for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is an opportunity for them to learn a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or brush up on their existing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. In that way, they are better prepared to enter the workforce. Another way forward could be for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to not turn away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recruiting and training new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
employees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should consider hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
also
beneficial in hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they have more experiences and can be a mentor to the younger employee, this might bring greater benefit to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
places taken away by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have led to various problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this situation could
be addressed
by implementing courses for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the workforce.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ensure the welfare of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the work sector and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
actively
hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What solutions could you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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