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Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (Services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (Services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? BJMjm
A great number of people are very hare brained these days. And they do not think about dangerous while they do something instantly. Also they cannot stand waiting. I do not agree with it because if people do everything without thinking, they would face a problem. To start with nowadays many people do not have a lot of time. The main reason of this is they want to build their career and eare much money in short period of time. For instance if people are hurrying to somewhere they drive care very fast. Unfortunately there would be car accident. So people should to be careful with everything. Especially many teenagers want to be successful. For it they try to do things without waiting. And it would make a problem with their education or personal life. So their parents ought to explain their mistakes. Furthermore many females are adore to do online shopping. And they quickly order something on net. But it would not be similar which they saw on their phones because it is simply advertising and they do not pay sufficient attention for it. Also many workers want to be promoted fast. So many of them incompetent these days and government should pay attention for it because many people give money for their direct and then easier become big worker in couple of days. By way of conculation while people choose or do something they need to think about clearly even it would time consuming. Without thinking life would change badly. Also people can not achieve their purpose instatsly.
A great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hare brained these days. And they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
while they do something
instantly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they cannot stand waiting.

I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do everything without thinking, they would face a problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. The main reason of this is they want to build their career and
Possible spelling mistake found.
eare
much money in short period of time.
For instance
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are hurrying to somewhere they drive care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. Unfortunately there would be car accident.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should to be careful with everything.
Especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
want to be successful. For
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they try to do things without waiting. And it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a problem with their education or personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
their parents ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their mistakes.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
females are
Consider using a past participle here: "adored".
adore
to do online shopping. And they
quickly
order something on net.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it would not be similar which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
on their phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
simply
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertising and
they do not pay sufficient attention for it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers want to
be promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them incompetent these days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay attention for it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give money for their direct and then easier become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
worker in
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
days.

By way of
Possible spelling mistake found.
conculation
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose or do something they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
clearly
even it would
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. Without thinking life would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
badly
.
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not achieve their purpose
Possible spelling mistake found.
instatsly
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (Services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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