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Nowadays, more and more people travel to the cities from the countryside to live and find opportunities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more and more people travel to the cities from the countryside to live and find opportunities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? GleR2
A growing trend that can be seen in contemporary society involves an increasing number of citizens are immigrating to urban area from the rural area to settle down and seek opportunities. In this essay, i will examine both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend, but I believe that it is more advantageous. On the one hand, travelling to the cities to live and develop career has a plethora of benefits those are absent in a countryside. In the first place, metropolis cities can provide better living condition for inhabitants. These conditions may be modern infrastructure and some critical service which improve remarkably the living quality of denizens. For example, complete transportation systems facilitates moving or hospitals with qualified doctors and modern machine will take care of people's health in the best way. Another compelling reason worth mentioning is that urban areas offer various opportunities and advantages for people to develop their career as well as themselves. The reason is that many quality university and educational institues can educate students by the most effective method and this creates a chance to them to seek easily a stable job. In addition, most of the companies, industries, factories, government offices are situated in a city so people have much more employment opportunities in a city than a countryside. On the other hand, despite the mentioned advantages, living and looking for job opportunities also has its own downsides. Firstly, the cost of living in big cities is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or rural area. Urban dwellers have to pay higher prices for accommodation, food, transport and other services. For people with low income, they can not afford living expenses and this is an obstacle for them. The second drawback is fierce competition among employees. This comes from each employee's desire to advance and get a lucrative income. With a large amount of manpower in cities, competition for survival is inevitable. In conclusion, this trend of people moving to cities to live and find opportunities has both advantages and disadvantages. However, i strongly believe that the merits greatly surpass the demerits since urban area is an ideal place for people to live and have the opportunities to develop with an aray of useful services as well as modern facilities.
A growing trend that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in contemporary society involves an increasing number of citizens are immigrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
from the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to settle down and seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will examine both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that it is more advantageous.

On the one hand, travelling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and develop career has a plethora of benefits those are absent in a countryside. In the
first
place, metropolis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
condition for inhabitants. These conditions may be modern infrastructure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical service which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
remarkably
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
quality of denizens.
For example
, complete transportation systems facilitates moving or hospitals with qualified doctors and modern machine will take care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health in the best way. Another compelling reason worth mentioning is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
offer various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop their career
as well
as themselves. The reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
quality university and educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
institues
can educate students by the most effective method and this creates a chance to them to seek
easily
a stable job.
In addition
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, industries, factories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices
are situated
in a city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have much more employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in a city than a countryside.

On the other hand
, despite the mentioned advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and looking for job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
also
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
downsides.
Firstly
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is likely to be much higher than it is in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
dwellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay higher prices for accommodation, food, transport and other services. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with low income, they can not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
expenses and this is an obstacle for them. The second drawback is fierce competition among employees. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from each employee's desire to advance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a lucrative income. With a large amount of manpower in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, competition for survival is inevitable.

In conclusion
, this trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that the merits
greatly
surpass the demerits since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is an ideal place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to develop with an
Possible spelling mistake found.
aray
of useful services
as well
as modern facilities.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people travel to the cities from the countryside to live and find opportunities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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