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Nowadays more and more people from Different cities are spending more time away from their families what are the possible reason and a factor on the people themselves and their family

Nowadays more and more people from Different cities are spending more time away from their families what are the possible reason and a factor on the people themselves and their family QMlRb
In this modern era, number of individuals from various cities spending more time away from their families. There are many reasons people for away their family members. This essay will discuss the plausible reasons and impact that this trend has on them and their families in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are several reasons why people are for away their families. First and foremost is more employment opportunities. Nowadays in rural area there are not many work opportunities, consequently that is why they living in cities because cities are provide better job with high paid salaries. Thus, this is main reason why individuals are are away from their families. Moreover, the second reason is a job transfer. sometimes multitudes who work in industries and there are a lot of employees then manager are promote there employees to another branches because of business issues. It can lead to job transfer. For example, a survey conducted by BBC News love is that 70% of people who more spending time in cities and for away from their families because of job transfer. On the other hand, there are also effect on people themselves and their families. The prominent is homesickness. Those who live alone for away from their families feel lonely themselves and they cannot share their feelings, emotions that the time of their happiness. Secondly the lack of bonding between families member. If individuals are not living in their families, then there bonding level will be reduce due to the fact they do not share their feeling with families. They only talk with their families using technical gadgets. It can leads to to relationship gap. Last but not the least that is less ability of care affection of during illness. To explain, parents whose offspring study of work abroad are concerned about their children eating habits, standard of living, sickness and other things which things the parents to regular tension. In conclusion, more and more people now wants to achieve higher education and earn money, they have to stay away from families which is not good for them and their families.
In this modern era, number of individuals from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
spending more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. This essay will discuss the plausible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and impact that this trend has on them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
First
and foremost is more employment opportunities. Nowadays in rural area there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
work opportunities,
consequently
that is
why
Did you mean "they're living", "they are living", or "they were living"?
they living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with high paid salaries.
Thus
, this is main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why individuals
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Moreover
, the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
transfer.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
multitudes who work in industries and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employees then manager are
Consider using a past participle here: "promoted".
promote
there employees to another branches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of business issues. It can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
transfer.
For example
, a survey conducted by BBC News
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who more spending time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
transfer.

On the other hand
, there are
also
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. The prominent is homesickness. Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
feel lonely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they cannot share their feelings, emotions that the time of their happiness.
Secondly
the lack of bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
member. If individuals are not living in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, then there bonding level will be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
due to the fact they do not share their feeling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
using technical gadgets. It can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
relationship gap. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least
that is
less ability of care affection of during illness. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, parents whose offspring study of work abroad
are concerned
about their children eating habits, standard of living, sickness and other things which things the parents to regular tension.

In conclusion
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
wants to achieve higher education and earn money, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people from Different cities are spending more time away from their families what are the possible reason and a factor on the people themselves and their family

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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