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NOWADAYS, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE DECIDE TO LIVE IN APARTMENTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF LIVING IN APARTMENTS OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

NOWADAYS, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE DECIDE TO LIVE IN APARTMENTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF LIVING IN APARTMENTS OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES? oRBlg
Recently, with the rapid population explosion, an increasing number of properties have built in many bustling cities. Thus, new types of accommodation have begun to comprise such as apartments. Although it brings unwelcome features there are major advantages like paying an affordable fee and recognising more people than living in a house. This essay will discuss that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks. To begin with, nowadays, most people work hard in their workplace and also it causes stress in daily life. Therefore, people who prefer to live in an apartment have a desire to enjoy the tranquility. However, due to having thin walls, sometimes they might have a disappointment. For instance, when you are about to get to sleep you are obliged to listen to your neighbour’s shouting which they have a row. To me, the worst feature is that. Besides, there is another disadvantage which is lack of space. If you are a person who likes having huge furniture such as a massive couch, it would be a big problem for you. Despite all of the drawbacks mentioned above, many people believe that living in an apartment brings a lot of benefits. It is a fact that the price of apartments is lower than other accommodations such as houses. Due to budget friendly fees, demand for apartments has been increasing. In other words, they can keep their money for other social activities such as concerts. Also you don’t need to pay any extra charge for parking a car. Apart from this, when you live in an apartment you can come across a lot of people who can come in handy for your career. If you have good communication skills it can be very useful. For example, you are looking for a new job and you talk about this situation with your neighbour and he or she says that our company needs employees who deal with your occupation. Perhaps you are hired and your problem is solved. In conclusion, it is the fact that while there are minor disadvantages, by reason of outweighing the welcome features the people’s preference tend to live in an apartment.
Recently, with the rapid population explosion, an increasing number of properties have built in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bustling cities.
Thus
, new types of accommodation have begun to comprise such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. Although it brings unwelcome features there are major advantages like paying an affordable fee and
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than living in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This essay will discuss that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in their workplace and
also
it causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in daily life.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
have a desire to enjoy the tranquility.
However
, due to having thin walls,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they might have a disappointment.
For instance
, when you are about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to sleep you
are obliged
to listen to your
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
’s shouting which they have a row. To me, the worst feature is that.
Besides
, there is another disadvantage which is lack of space. If you are a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
likes having huge furniture such as a massive couch, it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for you.

Despite
Consider using "all the".
all of the
drawbacks mentioned above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that living in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits. It is a fact that the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is lower than other accommodations such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Due to budget friendly fees, demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
has been increasing.
In other words
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their money for other social activities such as concerts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
you don’t need to pay any extra charge for parking a car. Apart from this, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in handy for your career.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful.
For example
, you are looking for a new job and you talk about this situation with your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
neighbour and
he or she says that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
deal with your occupation. Perhaps you
are hired
and your problem
is solved
.

In conclusion
, it is the fact that while there are minor disadvantages, by reason of outweighing the welcome features the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
preference tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE DECIDE TO LIVE IN APARTMENTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF LIVING IN APARTMENTS OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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