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Nowadays more and more people choose to prefer shopping istead of going to store. Why is this? What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Nowadays more and more people choose to prefer shopping istead of going to store. Why is this? What are advantages and disadvantages of this development? R0BJo
In today's globalized world the most people prefer to buy items, including, clothes and shoes instead of going to stores. In my opinion, main reason for this proliferation of online apps such as google, instagram. Despite utilarian benefits of this trend, there have still some drowbacks. To commence with, supporters of this contention argue that it is extreamley beneficial to purchase items in some nations. Nowadays in such areas, especially America and Russia, pandemic situation are becoming worse. Only when in this nations people choose online option, risk of sticking the virus may be lesser. Another advantage of this view is time and money saving. For example, while people order any thing online, they do not need to go store as a result ones do not pay for the way. Nonetheless. Buying online has drowbacks. If they order things such as jacket it may not be fit to ones. This leads many effort and time consuming. Another disadvantage is that being isolated all the time may leads stress. When people go to stores it is the best way to relieve stresses. In conclusion, it is clear that although there are many benefits online purchasing but still has some drowbacks.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's globalized world the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items, including, clothes and shoes
instead
of going to stores. In my opinion, main reason for this proliferation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps such as google,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
. Despite
Possible spelling mistake found.
utilarian
benefits of this trend, there have
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
drowbacks
. To commence with, supporters of this contention argue that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
extreamley
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations. Nowadays in such areas,
especially
America and Russia, pandemic situation are becoming worse.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when in this nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
option,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of sticking the virus may be lesser. Another advantage of this view is time and money saving.
For example
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
order
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they do not need to go store
as a result
ones do not pay for the way. Nonetheless. Buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
drowbacks
. If they order things such as jacket it may not
be fit
to ones. This leads
Possible agreement error. The noun effort seems to be countable; consider using: "many efforts".
many effort
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. Another disadvantage is that
being isolated
all the time may leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to stores it is the best way to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
.
In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
drowbacks
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people choose to prefer shopping istead of going to store. Why is this? What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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