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NOWADAYS MORE AND MORE older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

NOWADAYS MORE AND MORE older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions? BlbV9
It is true that it causes a competitive space among older and young people in case they search for the same careers. Although looking for a job can bring about potential problems, officials must take a number of steps to tackle these issues. To begin with, older people who need careers have to be placed in the competition. This undoubtedly causes a range of problems. The main issue is that it increases the unemployment risk of older people. The owner of companies tends to take on fresh and up-to-date somebody rather than the older one. Having up-to-date jobholders drive the company to more achievements, as these groups of people are really craving for higher status. In fact, there is a motivating factor that drives them to success. In other words, older people might not be a suitable option, Because they are not as employable as young people. to put it differently, they could are more under strain because of heavy workload and this, in turn, impose both physical and mental issues for them. Several actions could be taken to solve problems. Firstly officials should establish some rules to increase the employment rate in the older. They have an equal right to be fired in organs especially when are not able to make their ends meet. Secondly, the most important criteria for being hired might be considered on skill are and qualification whether in an older group or young group. Finally, governments should allocate more beneficial insurance to employees that they do not have to work at higher ages. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the competition among the old and young people has been wide currency.
It is true that it causes a competitive space among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in case they search for the same careers. Although looking for a job can bring about potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take a number of steps to tackle these issues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be placed
in the competition. This
undoubtedly
causes a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The main issue is that it increases the unemployment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The owner of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tends to take on fresh and up-to-date somebody
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
one. Having up-to-date jobholders drive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to more achievements, as these groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
really
craving for higher status. In fact, there is a motivating factor that drives them to success.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not be a suitable option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are not as employable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
put it
differently
, they could are more under strain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy workload and this, in turn, impose both physical and mental issues for them.

Several actions could
be taken
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
officials should establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to increase the employment rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
. They have an equal right to
be fired
in organs
especially
when are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Secondly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
criteria for
being hired
might
be considered
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
are and qualification whether in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
group or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
group.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should allocate more beneficial insurance to employees that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work at higher ages.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are certain to arise as the competition among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been wide currency.
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS MORE AND MORE older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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