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Nowadays more and more older people, who are looking for work, compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Currently workplace market is rupturing by younger people and growing number of older people who are competing for a job. In this essay I will discuss sequences and will try to find solution for this. Such case may lead to number of negative results, for example jobs which are mostly were filled with older people, are now abandoned. It will cause a disbalance between employment of jobs, and if one part of city will not function, whole city will not be able to function properly. Another example is unemployment. Many people will claim for the same workplace and eventually only one will get job and others will search for other places, however incoming number of workers will not fit in number of jobs. Every medal has two sides, and this case is not an exception. By increasing number of applicants, rivalry is increasing and this will lead to increasing quality of stuff or service. Now the good side of medal is another medal with its own another side. Because of increasing quality of average product will lead to even more demand from employers, who will exhaust they workers to keep income, for the same salary. This tendency is mostly disrupting balance of jobs, and must be stopped. For example, lower the pension age. So older people will not be able to take jobs from young people and still have monthly income from pension.
Currently
workplace market is rupturing by younger
people
and growing
number
of older
people
who are competing for a
job
. In this essay I will discuss sequences and will try to find solution for this.

Such case may lead to
number
of
negative
results,
for example
jobs
which are
mostly
were filled
with older
people
, are
now
abandoned. It will cause a
disbalance
between employment of
jobs
, and if one part of city will not function, whole city will not be able to function
properly
. Another example is unemployment.
Many
people
will claim for the same workplace and
eventually
only
one will
get
job
and others
will search for other places,
however
incoming
number
of workers will not fit in
number
of jobs.

Every medal has two sides, and this case is not an exception. By
increasing
number
of applicants, rivalry is
increasing
and this will lead to
increasing
quality of stuff or service.
Now
the
good
side of medal is another medal with its
own
another side.
Because
of
increasing
quality of average product will lead to even more demand from employers, who will exhaust
they workers
to
keep
income, for the same salary.

This tendency is
mostly
disrupting balance of
jobs
, and
must
be
stopped
.
For example
, lower the pension age.
So
older
people
will not be able to take
jobs
from young
people
and
still
have monthly income from pension.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more older people, who are looking for work, compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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