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Nowadays More And More Old People Have To Compete With Young People For The Same Jobs

Nowadays More And More Old People Have To Compete With Young People For The Same Jobs xxLoN
At present, the number of individuals who are competing with youngsters for the same opportunities has increased / is increasing. This trend is reducing job options for the younger generation. In my opinion, this issue can be solved if colleges and universities prepare their students to compete with experienced employees. The number of unemployed young people is increasing due to the fact that experienced individuals are taking their positions. When candidates with industry knowledge go through interviews, they demonstrate better solutions than freshers; therefore, organizations prefer them to newcomers. To illustrate this, in MNCs, grown-ups work on specific technologies, and this helps them to develop mastery over them. By contrast, fresh graduates only have academic knowledge of the subjects they learned at university and as such they cannot find concrete solutions to practical problems. This is why youngsters are losing their jobs because others have industry experience, and it becomes a huge problem for them. On the other hand, this situation is not advantageous for old people either. Old people are experienced people. Hence, they should be earning good salaries. Now if they have to compete with young people, it shows their desperation. They can’t find jobs that match their experience. Of course, it will cause unemployment among young people. At the same, it will lead to the exploitation of old people because they will be forced to work for the smaller salaries offered to young people. As for the viable solutions, setting a retirement age will help. People after a certain age should not be in the job market. However, this is not always a humane solution because if people are eager to work after 60 or 65, it probably shows their desperation rather than desire. So, exceptions should be made in their case. Also, seniors should always be paid salaries commensurate with experience. It is also important for governments to provide for seniors who are not in a position to fend for themselves. This will automatically discourage many of them from competing for job. In conclusion, the aforementioned points make it evident that youngsters are losing their opportunities because experienced workers are competing with them. The most effective way to address the issue is to set a retirement age. The government also needs to launch special support schemes for seniors facing financial difficulties.
At present, the number of individuals who are competing with youngsters for the same opportunities has increased / is increasing. This trend is reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
options for the younger generation. In my opinion, this issue can
be solved
if colleges and universities prepare their students to compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
employees.

The number of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
increasing due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
individuals are taking their positions. When candidates with industry knowledge go through interviews, they demonstrate better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
than freshers;
therefore
, organizations prefer them to newcomers. To illustrate this, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNCs
, grown-ups work on specific technologies, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop mastery over them. By contrast, fresh graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have academic knowledge of the subjects they learned at university and as such they cannot find concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to practical problems. This is why youngsters are losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
others have industry experience, and it becomes a huge problem for them.

On the other hand
, this situation is not advantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, they should be earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salaries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their desperation. They can’t find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that match their experience.
Of course
, it will cause unemployment among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. At the same, it will lead to the exploitation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be forced
to work for the smaller salaries offered to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

As for the viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, setting a retirement age will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
after a certain age should not be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
However
, this is not always a humane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eager to work after 60 or 65, it
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their desperation
rather
than desire.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, exceptions should
be made
in their case.
Also
, seniors should always
be paid
salaries commensurate with experience. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to provide for seniors who are not in a position to fend for themselves. This will
automatically
discourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them from competing for job.

In conclusion
, the aforementioned points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it evident that youngsters are losing their opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
workers are competing with them. The most effective way to address the issue is to set a retirement age. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
needs to launch special support schemes for seniors facing financial difficulties.
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IELTS essay Nowadays More And More Old People Have To Compete With Young People For The Same Jobs

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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