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Nowadays, men's sports are more preferred rather than women's sports by the society. What are the reasons of this phenomenon and is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, men's sports are more preferred rather than women's sports by the society. What are the reasons of this phenomenon and is it a positive or negative development? 2PEkM
Most individuals prefer to watch and enjoy men's games rather than women's games. This essay will discuss the reasons for this growing trend, and in my opinion, it is a negative development. Two main factors are behind the rise in giving preference to male sports. The first is that, according to the old perceptions, many people think that it does not behove girls to play games and that they are only allowed to live within the four walls of their house. This causes the lack of participation in sports. The second reason, which is linked to the first, is that the government and many companies or organisations provide a number of resources and sponsor males' tournaments more often because it is a source of income for sponsors. The more society supports the games of man, the more they will be popular. However, the value of women's games will decline. In my opinion, giving more priority to male games is overall a negative development. It is true that nowadays, every field is being dominated by women, and they have equal rights to others. If society does not appreciate them in sports, they will be disappointed and their talent could go in vain. Therefore, the field of sports can be left to them and the sense of gender discrimination may be increased. In conclusion, old thinking and lack of resources are the primary causes of the rising popularity of men's sports, and I believe that it is an overall undesirable approach.
Most individuals prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss the reasons for this growing trend, and in my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

Two main factors are behind the rise in giving preference to male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The
first
is that, according to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
perceptions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it does not
Possible spelling mistake found.
behove
girls to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
within the four walls of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This causes the lack of participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The second reason, which
is linked
to the
first
, is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
provide a number of resources and sponsor males' tournaments more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a source of income for sponsors. The more society supports the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, the more they will be popular.
However
, the value of women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will decline.

In my opinion, giving more priority to male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
overall
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. It is true that nowadays, every field is
being dominated
by women, and they have equal rights to others. If society does not appreciate them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they will
be disappointed
and their talent could go in vain.
Therefore
, the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to them and the sense of gender discrimination may
be increased
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
thinking and lack of resources are the primary causes of the rising popularity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and I believe that it is an
overall
undesirable approach.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, men's sports are more preferred rather than women's sports by the society. What are the reasons of this phenomenon and is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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