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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.does the solution have more advantage and disadvantage

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. does the solution have more advantage and disadvantage AaE6e
Undoubtedly, work is paramount role in every one life. it is often deemed that. most of individual work long hours leave very little time for free time activities. This treatise will intends to articulate its merits or demerits from my book of experience in subsequent segments. Apparently, it is highly determined that. There are plethora of contributing factors why long hours work is beneficial for people. the predominant factor even trigger that. If individual do work till long hours. They can earn more and more. Beacuse nowadays men run the rate race behind money. With the help of it, they can fullfill their basic needs as well as they can give lexisure lifestyle to their family. They can buy branded items. Moreover, people can show their stutas front of society. The survey has been conducted that. 60 persent of folks live luxurious lifestyle. Beacuse of this, they do work till long hours. Nevertheless, there are myriads of drew back if people do work till long hours? Chiefly, majority of individuals are victim of disease. Beacuse, they do work till long hours. They do not take care of their body as well as they don't give rest to their body. Whereas, they don't take diet on proper time. Owing to this, they become victim of harmful disease. Such as, depration, heart problems, and others. For example, most of people suffer from mental illness. Due to they have havey work load and stress of work. It can be advocated that, According to the argument mentioned above one can reached at conclusion that. work is important role in every one life. but people should take care their body. They should do work in limited. While, they should spend some time on leisure activities
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is paramount role in every one life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deemed that.
Consider using "most individual" or "most of the individual".
most of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities. This treatise will intends to articulate its merits or demerits from my book of experience in subsequent segments.

Apparently
, it is
highly
determined that. There are plethora of contributing factors why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
predominant factor even trigger that.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
individual do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. They can earn more and more.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beacuse
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
run the rate race behind money. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of it, they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their basic needs
as well
as they can give
Possible spelling mistake found.
lexisure
lifestyle to their family. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded items.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
stutas
front of society. The survey has
been conducted
that. 60
Possible spelling mistake found.
persent
of folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxurious lifestyle.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beacuse
of this, they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
hours.

Nevertheless
, there are myriads of drew back if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
?
Chiefly
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
individuals are victim of disease.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beacuse
, they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. They do not take care of their body
as well
as they don't give rest to their body.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, they don't take diet on proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Owing to this, they become victim of harmful disease. Such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
depration
, heart problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
For example
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from mental illness. Due to they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
havey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of work.

It can
be advocated
that, According to the argument mentioned above one can reached at conclusion that.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every one life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take care their body. They should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in limited.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, they should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on leisure activities
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. does the solution have more advantage and disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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