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Nowadays, men and women in many countries decide to have babies at older age. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Nowadays, men and women in many countries decide to have babies at older age. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages? KG8aL
Nowadays, a large number of people choose to have babies at an older age. There are some reasons behind this situation. Meantime, I think it is a good trend as older parents have more advantages. Here I list two main reasons for this phenomenon. Firstly, people prefer to pursuing careers rather than starting a family, making them put off having babies. In modern society, employees，also called brick movers, often work in 996 or 007 schedule. They spend a lot of time at work and achieve career success, which caused them having no private time, no interest in getting married, let alone having children. Secondly, people want more leisure time. Raising children requires sufficient energy and time. As good parents, sometimes they have to sacrifice hobbies and leisure time. Today’s young people are under high pressures in work or life and need to socialize and relax. However, if they have children, they can’t drink overnight with friends outsides, arrange a long trip as their wish, or stay in bed all day without doing anything or do other relaxing things. They have to take care of their children at all times, which will make them feel exhausted when thinking of this. Actually, there are many advantages to have a baby at an older age. The most important element is financial stability. Generally, older parents have earned enough money for kids caring. They can provide a good growth environment for children, including excellent educational resources. It is said that the average tuition fee for private kindergartens in Shanghai is 130, 000RMB per year. Only rich families have the ability to send children to this kind of school. Another advantage is that older parents can have better parenting as they are mature. Research showing that the children of older moms were better behaved, well socialized and emotionally healthy in their pre-teen years. In other words, older moms' more relaxed parenting behaviors appear to have paid off for these youngsters. In conclusion, giving birth to children late in life may not be bad. Just enjoy your choice.
Nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to have babies at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
age. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons behind this situation. Meantime, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more advantages.

Here I list two main reasons for this phenomenon.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
Did you mean "pursue"?
pursuing
careers
rather
than starting a family, making them put off having babies. In modern society, employees，
also
called brick movers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work in 996 or 007 schedule. They spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work and achieve career success, which caused them having no private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, no interest in getting married,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
requires sufficient energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice hobbies and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under high pressures in work or life and need to socialize and relax.
However
, if they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they can’t drink overnight with friends outsides, arrange a long trip as their wish, or stay in bed all day without doing anything or do other relaxing things. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel exhausted when thinking of this.

Actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to have a baby at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
age. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element is financial stability.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have earned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for kids caring. They can provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
growth environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including excellent educational resources. It
is said
that the average tuition fee for private kindergartens in Shanghai is 130, 000RMB per year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
rich families have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to this kind of school. Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can have better parenting as they are mature. Research showing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
moms were better behaved, well socialized and
emotionally
healthy in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-teen
years.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
moms' more relaxed parenting behaviors appear to have paid off for these youngsters.

In conclusion
, giving birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
late in life may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
enjoy your choice.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, men and women in many countries decide to have babies at older age. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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