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Nowadays, many students attend extra classes after spending time studying at school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many students attend extra classes after spending time studying at school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? KGWNM
These days, it is common for students to take part in extra classes outside of school. In this essay, I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend, but I believe it is more advantageous. Going to extra classes can be beneficial in several ways. Firstly, it allows students to broaden their horizons not only basic knowledge but also some tips and tricks. The reason is that these tips and tricks can be used in exams or assignments or homework to achieve better grades. For example, teachers have more time to provide students with better ways and methods to solve the exercises. Secondly, attending extra classes means students can choose to learn what they need. This is because they can strengthen the knowledge on subjects that they are not good at. Students who are bad at maths will choose a extra mathematic class to fill in the gaps in knowledge that they don't accumulate in regular classes On the other hand, attending extra classes also has own drawbacks. A compelling one is it can affect students' physical health as well as mental health. The reason is that students have to attend consecutive classes not only a subject but also other subjects with too much exercise. Therefore, they might face many problems about mental and physical health such as eye problems, stress, fatigue or even depression and these disadvantages are not optimal for studying. Another downsides is that student can be distracted in main classes and lose their creativity because they depend on extra classes. For example, if a student learns the knowledge in extra classes, they will no longer be interested in learning in main class and this affects a lot in brain activities, makes student become dependent and arrogant. In conclusion, this trend of students going to extra classes has both advantages and disadvantages. However, i strongly believe that the merits greatly surpass the demerits since the extra knowledge gained from these classes help students study better and have a better chance to get to their dream school.
These days, it is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
outside of school. In this essay, I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe it is more advantageous.

Going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
can be beneficial in several ways.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their horizons not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips and tricks. The reason is that these tips and tricks can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in exams or assignments or homework to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
grades.
For example
, teachers have more time to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ways and methods to solve the exercises.
Secondly
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose to learn what they need. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can strengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on subjects that they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
at
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
will choose
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
mathematic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to fill in the gaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that they don't accumulate in regular classes

On the other hand
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
also
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawbacks. A compelling one is it can affect students' physical health
as well
as mental health. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend consecutive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other subjects with too much exercise.
Therefore
, they might face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems about mental and physical health such as eye problems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, fatigue or even depression and these disadvantages are not optimal for studying. Another downsides
You should probably use: "are".
is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
be distracted
in main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and lose their creativity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learns the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, they will no longer
be interested
in learning in main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and this affects a lot in brain activities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
become dependent and arrogant.

In conclusion
, this trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that the merits
greatly
surpass the demerits since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their dream school.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many students attend extra classes after spending time studying at school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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