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Nowadays, many schools are concerned about behavioural problem of their students

Nowadays, many schools are concerned about behavioural problem of their students Kll86
Nowadays, many schools are concerned about behavioural problem of their students. This can affect learning and teaching process in class hours and distract other children's attention. As I see it, governments, parents and schools all have a role to play in tackling the problem. One of the reasons that so many children have poor student behaviour is that they often play Internet games showing a lot of violence. Therefore, they are likely to imitate in life and behave aggressively due to effect of these games. To address this issue, government could limit a variety of violent behaviour games and implement intellectual games inside to improve students' cognitive skills. Consequently, this would hopefully encourage students to concentrate on positive behaviour and studies. Another cause of poor student behaviour is situation of family life. It is true that, there is good atmosphere and admirable lifestyle in most families. However some students despond due to lack of parents' attention. As a result, they have less interaction skills and behave themselves in misconduct. The solution is for the parents to concentrate more on their children and have a close relationship every day. To sum up, negative student behaviour depends on several factors. Inadvertence of parents and violent games are main causes of bad behaviour. Parents, school authority and government all are responsible for dealing with this issue
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools
are concerned
about
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problem of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This can affect learning and teaching process in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
hours and distract other children's attention. As I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and schools all have a role to play in tackling the problem.

One of the reasons that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children have poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violence.
Therefore
, they are likely to imitate in life and behave
aggressively
due to effect of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. To address this issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could limit a variety of violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and implement intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
inside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students' cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Consequently
, this would
hopefully
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to concentrate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and studies.

Another cause of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is situation of family life. It is true that, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere and admirable lifestyle in most families.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
despond
due to lack of parents' attention.
As a result
, they have less interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and behave themselves in misconduct. The solution is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to concentrate more on their children and have a close relationship every day.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
depends on several factors. Inadvertence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are main causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
, school authority and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
all are responsible for dealing with this issue
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many schools are concerned about behavioural problem of their students

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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