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Nowadays, many prleople go to shopping in free time ,shopping replaced kany activities that people choose as there hobby , this postive or negtive development

Nowadays, many prleople go to shopping in free time, shopping replaced kany activities that people choose as there hobby, this postive or negtive development gDNbD
Today markets are stocked with alluring products, due to globalization, and owing to this fact doing shopping is trending nows as a leisure time activity. however, this practice brings mixed bag of both boon and bane, which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs before forming an opinion First and foremost, there are some masses of society, who vehementely conted that this tendency is not fruitful for society. Firstly it create hole in everyone's pocket. 8n simple words, when youngsters do shopping unnecessary and they become extravagant spendthrift person of society. As a result, they will have to face financial instability and they will become not only debtors, but also face some mentally disorders. Moving ahead, this tendency is totally exploitation of raw materials because, doing shopping without need is not only waste of money, but also waste of products. Thus, the next generation can may get deprive from it Further more, it brings the materialistic attitude in masses of society. To be justified, youngsters do shopping because of their habit, whenever they have no money for buying they indulge in illicit activities to cater their need such as murder, smuggling, kidnapping and so on. Thus it will increase the delinquency rate in country On the other hand, with regards to brighter side of this phenomenon, which cannot neglected. Firmly it open gate way of more job and business opportunities and improve money circulation in market. To be specified, when people buy or purchase thing regularly then products demands are on peak in markets and to cater this need companies increase production as well as new shops and malls are open in markets and more and more people get employment. Therefore standard of living will be increased in future. Further more it is a boon to keep pace with modern epoch as visiting markets and shopping is introduce with new technology and fashion and other new products. Consequently they can became famous charractor of society and their way of living is followed by society. In conclusion, as per my above discussion, it has both merit and demerit. However it is reckoned by me that disadvantages of this phenomenon always outweigh over the advantages, because society can face money problems and can choose illegal activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
markets
are stocked
with alluring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, due to globalization, and owing to this fact doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is trending
Possible spelling mistake found.
nows
as a leisure time activity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, this practice brings mixed bag of both boon and bane, which will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming an opinion

First
and foremost, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, who
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehementely
Possible spelling mistake found.
conted
that this tendency is not fruitful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
hole in everyone's pocket. 8n simple words, when youngsters do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unnecessary and
they become extravagant spendthrift person of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
As a result
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face financial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
instability and
they will become not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
debtors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mentally disorders. Moving ahead, this tendency is
totally
exploitation of raw materials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
without need is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Thus
, the
next
generation can may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "deprive" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprive of"?
deprive from
it
Further
more, it brings the materialistic attitude in masses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To
be justified
, youngsters do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their habit, whenever they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for buying they indulge in illicit activities to cater their need such as murder, smuggling, kidnapping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it will increase the delinquency rate in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country


On the other hand
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
brighter side of this phenomenon, which cannot neglected.
Firmly
it open gate way of more job and business opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
circulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. To
be specified
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
thing
regularly
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
demands are on peak in markets and to cater this need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
increase production
as well
as new shops and malls are open in markets and more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
standard of living will
be increased
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Further
more it is a boon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with modern epoch as visiting markets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
Consider using a past participle here: "introduced".
introduce
with new technology and fashion and other new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "become"
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
charractor
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and their way of living
is followed
by society.

In conclusion
, as per my above discussion, it has both merit and demerit.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it
is reckoned
by me that disadvantages of this phenomenon always outweigh over the advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
problems and can choose illegal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
activities
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many prleople go to shopping in free time, shopping replaced kany activities that people choose as there hobby, this postive or negtive development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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