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Nowadays, many people who may have an unhealthy lifestyle and bad diets are easy to feel sick that they may overlook care of their health due to living in a busy city.

Nowadays, many people who may have an unhealthy lifestyle and bad diets are easy to feel sick that they may overlook care of their health due to living in a busy city. gjPa
Nowadays, many people who may have an unhealthy lifestyle and bad diets are easy to feel sick that they may overlook care of their health due to living in a busy city. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement for the following some reasons. Firstly, many people who are very busy with working like buying junk food such as burgers and pizza to eat instead of cooking at home that they do not have time to care of their food diet. Furthermore, they may sometimes concentrate on working only and therefore they may skip meals or eat so late. For example, although people who have a job normally need to work 5 days per week from 9am to 6pm, they may sometimes need to work overtime that their managers may assign extra job tasks to them to complete before deadline or they may feel very difficult to complete the job duties on time. Thus, not only it may affect their health style and food diets but also cause stress from the works. Lastly, some people may not have enough time to do exercises due to busy with working and others may not be used to do exercises regularly; they focus on eating, drinking and sleeping only. In fact, doing more exercises can help us with enhancing people's immune system against any diseases according to the doctor's advise. If people do not have enough rest and exercises, their immune system will become weaker. In other words, doing regular exercises and sleeping can be helpful for making people stronger against diseases. In conclusion, healthy lifestyle and food diet are very important to people's health but working life is difficult that it can affect people's health. So as to improve our health, drinking more water and eating more nutrition food such as vegetable and fruits should be necessary for people's body. In addition, people should not skip 3 meals in order to provide energy for their body against diseases. At last, people should do more exercises and take a rest regularly in order to enhance immune system. Thus, working so hard is not a reason why they cannot manage their health and improve their health lifestyle; it mostly depends on whether they want to take care of their health or not.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who may have an unhealthy lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
diets are easy to feel sick that they may overlook care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
due to living in a busy city. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement for the following
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
like buying junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as burgers and pizza to eat
instead
of cooking at home that they do not have time to care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diet.
Furthermore
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and
therefore
they may skip meals or eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
late.
For example
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a job
normally
need to work 5 days per week from 9am to 6pm, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
need to work overtime that their managers may assign extra job tasks to them to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deadline or
they may feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to complete the job duties on time.
Thus
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it may affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
style and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the works.

Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
due to busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
regularly
; they focus on eating, drinking and sleeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. In fact, doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us with enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
immune system against any diseases according to the doctor's advise. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, their immune system will become weaker.
In other words
, doing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and sleeping can be helpful for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stronger against diseases.

In conclusion
, healthy lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life is difficult that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
So as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, drinking more water and eating more nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as vegetable and fruits should be necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
body.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not skip 3 meals in order to provide energy for their body against diseases. At last,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and take a rest
regularly
in order to enhance immune system.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is not a reason why they cannot manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
lifestyle; it
mostly
depends on whether they want to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
or not.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people who may have an unhealthy lifestyle and bad diets are easy to feel sick that they may overlook care of their health due to living in a busy city.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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