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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

These days computer has became the most important electronic device and it is widely used by children for playing games or watching videos. This will have negative impact on children. This essay discuss the disadvantages of playing computer games by youngsters. Youngsters are more addicted to computer games and due to this their performance in academic is getting down. Children who dont have computers at home, playing at internet cafe for money. They are spending more money on games and spoling their further. For example rummy is also a computer game which is most popular these days. Firsty we need to invest money before playing the game, children also playing this game by investing money. As a result if they loss game it will be very difficult for their family survival. Moreover, playing computer games will also effect eyes. Many children these days are getting sight due to watching more tv, mobile or computer screens. Spending more time infront of Computers will also effect physical health. children need to spend some quality time in playing outdoor games. As a result children will be physically fit and strong and they can fight with any kind of dieases if they are healthy and parents also need to spend more time with their children. They need to have clean idea on their children academic and their spendings.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
computer has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
electronic device and it is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or watching videos. This will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay discuss
the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by youngsters.

Youngsters are more addicted to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and due to this their performance in academic is getting down.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have computers at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
at internet
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They are spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
spoling
their
further
.
For example
rummy is
also
a computer game which is most popular these days.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firsty
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the game,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
this game by investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
As a result
if they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
game it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for their family survival.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will
also
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
eyes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days are getting sight due to watching more
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, mobile or computer screens. Spending more time
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of Computers will
also
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
physical health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
physically
fit and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strong and
they can fight with any kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieases
if they are healthy and parents
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have clean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
academic and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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