Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an argument that children themselves should choose daily matters relating to them; While others believe that this manner might affect their social behavior and cause them to consider only their own desires. In my opinion, It is a reasonable idea to allow them to decide by own, however, they should be taught about others' rights in some cases. On the one hand, allowing children to choose their wishes is more likely to bring about being determined and decisive persons. This feature, in fact, would assist them to make vital decisions in their future life with ease, such as university major, job, and even marriage. Take indecisive persons as an example; Hardly would they succeed, as they occasionally fail to make a definite choice so as to start work or put a step forward. In other words, They might lose their time and opportunities because of being unable to determine. On the other hand, leaving all choices to children without any interference seems to be bound to have a knock-on effect on their behavior in society. That is to say, children who were always preferring their own desires, in social life could spell problems especially in relations with other people, and give rise to bother individuals. For instance, a kid likes to play in the yard loudly and with high noise without consideration to others' peace. Actually, they didn't learn to their needs are not only matter and should respect others'. In conclusion, It is essential to pay attention to issues relevant to children's decisions. Although picking out their own wishes like everyday essentials is children's right but along with that should notify them about others' rights too to respect them.
There is an argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
themselves should choose daily matters relating to them; While others believe that this manner might affect their social behavior and cause them to consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desires. In my opinion, It is a reasonable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to decide by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
however
, they should
be taught
about others' rights in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

On the one hand, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose their wishes is more likely to bring about
being determined
and decisive persons. This feature, in fact, would assist them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
vital decisions in their future life with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, such as university major, job, and even marriage. Take indecisive persons as an example; Hardly would they succeed, as they
occasionally
fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
choice
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work or put a step forward. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, They might lose their time and opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being unable to determine.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, leaving all choices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without any interference seems to
be bound
to have a knock-on effect on their behavior in society.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were always preferring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desires, in social life could spell problems
especially
in relations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and give rise to bother individuals.
For instance
, a kid likes to play in the yard
loudly
and with high noise without consideration to others' peace. Actually, they didn't learn to their needs are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
matter and should respect others'.

In conclusion
, It is essential to pay attention to issues relevant to children's decisions. Although picking out their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes like everyday essentials is children's right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
along with that should notify them about others' rights too to respect them.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts