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Nowadays, many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. Negative impacts? Solutions to minimize bad effects?

Nowadays, many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. Negative impacts? Solutions to minimize bad effects? Ymked
Thanks to the advances of technology, not only adults but also children may use computers on a daily basis. However, it is clear to see the increase in the number of children playing games. This essay will discuss the potential problems and give possible solutions for these issues. To begin with, two matters will arise when children spend plenty of time playing computer games. Firstly, it is easy for children to get distracted from their studies. In detail, the more time children spend on games, the less time they take to do their assignments. As a result, their self-study ability would decline, and they cannot focus on learning anymore. Secondly, playing computer games for a long time can negatively influence children’s health. Due to sitting in front of the computer too much without getting physical exercise, children would get a higher rate of getting health problems. According to research conducted by Harvard University, children who spend more than six hours playing games have more than 30% having obesity. To tackle these problems, parents can consider the following measures. Firstly, parents should restrict the time children can spend on computer games, and regard games as rewards when their offspring complete homework. This will create motivation for children to concentrate on their tasks until they finish all missions. Secondly, instead of taking games as a way for entertaining in free time, parents can replace and encourage their children to practice physical exercises or play sports such as volleyball, soccer, or badminton. It is also necessary for parents to get involved in these activities with their offspring. Consequently, parents and children can spend time together and fulfill excitement from real life rather than the virtual world. In conclusion, the decrease in the ability of self-study and health are the two problems arising from the topic; however, restriction and replacement can solve these issues. In my opinion, parents should spend their time playing with their children, too.
Thanks to the advances of technology, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers on a daily basis.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and give possible solutions for these issues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, two matters will arise when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Firstly
, it is easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from their studies. In detail, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they take to do their assignments.
As a result
, their self-study ability would decline, and they cannot focus on learning anymore.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
negatively
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health. Due to sitting in front of the computer too much without getting physical exercise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher rate of getting health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. According to research conducted by Harvard University,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than six hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have more than 30% having obesity.

To tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can consider the following measures.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as rewards when their offspring complete homework. This will create motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to concentrate on their tasks until they finish all missions.
Secondly
,
instead
of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as a way for entertaining in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can replace and encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to practice physical exercises or play sports such as volleyball, soccer, or badminton. It is
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in these activities with their offspring.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and fulfill excitement from real life
rather
than the virtual world.

In conclusion
, the decrease in the ability of self-study and health are the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
arising from the topic;
however
, restriction and replacement can solve these issues. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, too.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. Negative impacts? Solutions to minimize bad effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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