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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? OJ5k
In this time and age, a large portion of younglings have the opportunity to spend their free time playing video games. This raises the question: What are the negative and positive effects of this change in popular leisure activities. We do not know the scale of the negative long term health effects this could cause; however, it is certain that kids being familiar with computers this early in their life opens a lot of possibilities for example in education. The knowledge these children gain from playing computer games, could help them later in their future. It is a well-known fact that younger generations get used to electronic gadgets and the world of computer sciences much easier than their older peers. This could be the result of kids starting to use these devices at such a young age, because they want to play games on. Furthermore, a lot of people think that the integrated use of computer games in school could be the most interactive and effective way of teaching kids. You can see a lot of projects emerging that try to combine playful learning with video games. On the other hand, there are a lot of reasons why medical experts are worried about the consequences that playing too many video games could bring. First of all, the lack of physical movement is standing out for a lot of doctors. Sitting all day in a chair for hours is absolutely unhealthy, and this is one of the main causes linked to the growing number of overweight people. Another worrying factor is the negative effect computer screens have on the eyesight, although it is reported that future generations might become immune to this threat. In conclusion, there are a lot of ideas about using this new medium of entertainment as a tool for helping children, and the people who are designing the education system are not the only ones who already saw potential in this. The possibilities are countless. Of course, there are health concerns surrounding this free time activity, but these mainly stem from excessive use and are not unavoidable.
In this time and age, a large portion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
younglings
have the opportunity to spend their free time playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This raises the question: What are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in popular leisure activities. We do not know the scale of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
long term health effects this could cause;
however
, it is certain that kids being familiar with computers this early in their life opens a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of possibilities
for example
in education.

The knowledge these children gain from playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them later in their future.
It is a well-known fact that
younger generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to electronic gadgets and the world of computer sciences much easier than their older peers. This could be the result of kids starting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these devices at such a young age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the integrated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in school could be the most interactive and effective way of teaching kids. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of projects emerging that try to combine playful learning with video games.

On the other hand
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of reasons why medical experts
are worried
about the consequences that playing too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could bring.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the lack of physical movement is standing out for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of doctors. Sitting all day in a chair for hours is
absolutely
unhealthy, and this is one of the main causes linked to the growing number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another worrying factor is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect computer screens have on the eyesight, although it
is reported
that future generations might become immune to this threat.

In conclusion
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about using this new medium of entertainment as a tool for helping children, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are designing the education system are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones who already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
potential in this. The possibilities are countless.
Of course
, there are health concerns surrounding this free time activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
mainly
stem from excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and are not unavoidable.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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