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Nowadays, many people drive to work or school instead of walking, cycling or using public transport. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages?

The using private car has increased recently. The huge number of workers and the students use it to commute ant to attend to school so that public transport or bicycle are being used less and less, and even it is rarely seen that they go by walking. Although a number of benefits are occurring to this pattern, I believe the drawbacks involve are more. On the plus side, there are some advantages to using a private car. To begin with, the most rational justification is that it is much more convenient than other forms of travel. That is, not only does it protects the driver against poor weather condition, compared with walking or cycling, but when it comes to using public transport, it provides enough privacy. Imagine a rainy day or a bus (as a means of public transport) is crammed with people; If one uses their car to go to the workplace or school they will not be influenced by unaffordable weather conditions or lacking adequate space on the bus. Moreover, In numerous places, it prevents wasting time. In other words, waste of time is minimized by driving due to the high speed and the lack of need for frequent stops at stations. However, the downside can not be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with human health including physical and mental. Various diseases such as respiratory problems are on the rise, and toxic gases like CO2 emitted by cars contribute a pivotal role in it. In addition, each car is constantly making noise from the time it is turned on until it is turned off. In fact, more cars mean more noise pollution, and its side effects on people's nerves and psyche are not hidden from anyone. Therefore, increase the use of the private can be a menace to societies. To conclude, regardless of benefits, I think the health of the community must not be in jeopardy, and as mentioned above, this will be threatened by using private cars.
The using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has increased recently. The huge number of workers and the students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to commute ant to attend to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that public transport or bicycle are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less and less, and even it is rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that they go by walking. Although a number of benefits are occurring to this pattern, I believe the drawbacks involve are more.

On the plus side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most rational justification is that it is much more convenient than other forms of travel.
That is
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
Did you mean "protect"? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
protects
the driver against poor weather condition, compared with walking or cycling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to using public transport, it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
privacy. Imagine a rainy day or a bus (as a means of public transport)
is crammed
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
; If one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to go to the workplace or school they will not
be influenced
by unaffordable weather conditions or lacking adequate space on the bus.
Moreover
, In numerous places, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
wasting time.
In other words
, waste of time
is minimized
by driving due to the high speed and the lack of need for frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
at stations.

However
, the downside can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The most axiomatic argument
is concerned
with human health including physical and mental. Various diseases such as respiratory problems are on the rise, and toxic gases like CO2 emitted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
contribute a pivotal role in it.
In addition
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is
constantly
making noise from the time it
is turned
on until it
is turned
off. In fact, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
mean more noise pollution, and its side effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's nerves and psyche are not hidden from anyone.
Therefore
, increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
can be a menace to societies.

To conclude
, regardless of benefits, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the health of the community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be in jeopardy, and as mentioned above, this will
be threatened
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people drive to work or school instead of walking, cycling or using public transport. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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