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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The use of phones is drastically increasing day by day by the people of all ages and allowing children to use their phones is also becoming common in many places around the world. There is debate among people regarding the issue of carrying phones by children during their school hours. I support using phones during the school-time by the children to a limited extent. Phones have become extremely common nowadays and the parents of many children feel it safe to send their children to school with phone because of the convenience of communication. Children will be able to share any important information or emergency situation immediately with their guardians or parents if they can use their phones. A recent survey conducted among the parents of school going children in the USA illustrated that almost 75% of the parents feel mental safety sending their children with phones. However, reckless use of phones may mislead children and lessen their concentration during the school-stay. Considering the practical scenario, it's undoubtedly true that a large portion of children are becoming addicted to their phones. They don't concentrate properly to their classes and play games, chat with friends, watch movies during their class hours for the entertainment purpose. Sometimes, instead of doing classes they waste their time by hanging out together or even accessing irrelevant contents. As a result, they cut a poor figure in their examinations and suffer from depression and anxiety. According to my observation, nowadays, a significant proportion of children try to memorize their lessons and feel monotonous due to lack of concentration during their classes and using mobile phone during school days. In conclusion, phones are the essential means of communication but for children more cautionary measures are required. They should not be allowed to use phones during the class lecture and they should only be allowed to keep their phones open for a certain time to contact with their guardians.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is
drastically
increasing
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "day by".
day by day by
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages and allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is
also
becoming common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places around the world. There is debate among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regarding the issue of carrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours. I support using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during the school-time by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a limited extent.

Phones have become
extremely
common nowadays and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel it safe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the convenience of communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will be able to share any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information or emergency situation immediately with their guardians or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
if they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. A recent survey conducted among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the USA illustrated that almost 75% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel mental safety sending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
, reckless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
may mislead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and lessen their concentration during the school-stay.

Considering the practical scenario, it's
undoubtedly
true that a large portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming addicted to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. They don't concentrate
properly
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and play games, chat with friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies during their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
hours for the entertainment purpose.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
they waste their time by hanging out together or even accessing irrelevant contents.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
a poor figure in their examinations and suffer from depression and anxiety. According to my observation, nowadays, a significant proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to memorize their lessons and feel monotonous due to lack of concentration during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the essential means of communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more cautionary measures
are required
. They should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lecture and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
open for a certain time to contact with their guardians.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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