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Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case. What could be the disadvantages of being self employed.

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case. What could be the disadvantages of being self employed. QyAL
It is true, that in our modern globalisation people work in a corporate company instead of doing job in a private organisation; where do you want to become self employed. I critic in this essay that outweigh advantages from the disadvantages. First and foremost reason, people want to work in a private firm, because nowadays the people get over about the long-term thoughts and they know how they achieve profit in their life. For example instead of going a job in a private organisation, people tends to open a shop that I don't want to do further work. One more important point, doing a job as a self-employed get some more benefits, this indicates that, the person who work in their own company can have management in their own hands. For instance whatever they wanted to do work people can select their leisure time. On the other hand, people who work in a multinational company, as well as, private organisation they want to work on time management and complete the given job on time otherwise they got fired also. for example a person who is a self employed work in a private organisation can complete work in appropriate time to fulfill company rules. Secondly, the main disadvantage of kabhi work as a self employed is that, didn't get salary on time as well as they wanted to do more work as a overtime to fulfill their requirements to earn more wages. As per my perspective, doing a job as a self-employed is good, but if in a proper manner. Multinational organisation implement some new policy to increase the employment and fulfill the basic necessity of employee. for example give more wages to workers and give insurance policy for their life. On the basis of the points mentioned above, earning profit in own company can based on long term goal, while working as a self employed can fulfill our basic requirement gaining less money.
It is true, that in our modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
; where do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to become self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I critic
in this essay that outweigh advantages from the disadvantages.

First
and foremost reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
firm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over about the long-term
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thoughts and
they know how they achieve profit in their life.
For example
instead
of going a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to open a shop that I don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. One more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point, doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a self-employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more benefits, this indicates that, the person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can have management in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands.
For instance
whatever they wanted to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can select their leisure time.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
as well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and complete the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
otherwise
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fired
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example a person who is a self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
can complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to fulfill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Secondly
, the main disadvantage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kabhi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
is that, didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
salary on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as well
as they wanted to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
overtime to fulfill their requirements to earn more wages.

As per my perspective, doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a self-employed
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
. Multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new policy to increase the employment and fulfill the basic necessity of employee.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example give more wages to workers and give insurance policy for their life.

On the basis of the points mentioned above, earning profit in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can based on long term goal, while working as a self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
can fulfill our basic requirement gaining less money.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case. What could be the disadvantages of being self employed.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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