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Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the same firm for for their entire careers.

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the same firm for for their entire careers. M3NkN
It is an irrefutable fact that individuals in recent days frequently change their employment, despite working in one cooperation for the whole working period. In my opinion, I believe better opportunities and lack of motivation are the major reasons for changing jobs rapidly. However, the companies can motivate their workers by proving time-to-time promotions for career growth. Therefore the main motive of this essay is to explicate my perspective on the reason behind this argument and provide solutions for firms with justified illustrations in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the first and foremost reason behind frequent jobs changes is better opportunities such as higher remunerations and ideal facilities. In other words, even though workers are employed in their current job, they always look for high-paying employment, when they attain that opportunity they change their job without any second thought. For example, my neighbor is a civil engineer, and he recently changes his job from Reliance industry to Infosys due to high wage rates. Moreover, the facilities provided by firms play a crucial role in employment change, as workers works is a firm that provides ideal amenities such as insurance, transportation charges, and accommodations. Thus, in order to obtain higher salaries and better facilities employees changes their current job. However, the companies can tackle this issue by motivating employees to stay in their organization by providing appreciation and perks in remunerations. By this I mean, the workers work in the same organizations for their entire working life, if the companies provide timely perks and appreciation for achieving goals, and this is a beneficial development for both employees and employers in a long period. For instance, one of my friend Vineeta works for google for the previous 7 years as she achieves timely increments. As a result, the workers stay in a similar company and became their valuable and trustworthy asset. By the way of conclusion, I would like to reaffirm that the main cause of frequent employment changes is advanced facilities and opportunities, on the contrary, the company provides salaries perks and appreciation in order to keep their workers for a longer period.
It is an irrefutable fact that individuals in recent days
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
, despite working in one cooperation for the whole working period. In my opinion, I believe better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and lack of motivation are the major reasons for changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
rapidly
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
by proving time-to-time promotions for career growth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the main motive of this essay is to explicate my perspective on the reason behind this argument and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
solutions for firms with justified illustrations in subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the
first
and foremost reason behind frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
such as higher remunerations and ideal facilities.
In other words
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are employed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they always look for high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
, when they attain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without any second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
For example
, my neighbor is a civil engineer, and he recently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from Reliance industry to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
due to high wage rates.
Moreover
, the facilities provided by firms play a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
works is a firm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
ideal amenities such as insurance, transportation charges, and accommodations.
Thus
, in order to obtain higher salaries and better facilities employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can tackle this issue by motivating employees to stay in their organization by providing appreciation and perks in remunerations. By this I mean, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
work in the same organizations for their entire working life, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
timely perks and appreciation for achieving goals, and this is a beneficial development for both employees and employers in a long period.
For instance
, one of my friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vineeta
works for google for the previous 7 years as she achieves timely increments.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
stay in a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and became their valuable and trustworthy asset.

By the way of conclusion, I would like to reaffirm that the main cause of frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is advanced
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
,
on the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
salaries perks and appreciation in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
for a longer period.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the same firm for for their entire careers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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