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many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree? v.4

many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 4
The use of social media has become a burning issue these days. Some individuals think that social networking sites such as Facebook have had an adverese effects not only on individuals, but also on society. I completely agree with this, as this have had a damaging effect on peoples lives. With regards to individuals, many people spend time online websites such as Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat to connect with different persons from all parts of the world. They can message anonymous persons by just seeing their profile picture which is uploaded on the internet. If this is continued for a while, it can lead to anxiety and depression as they prefer to meet others online rather than face-to-face. These negative impacts are harmful not only to teenagers, but also to the adults. On the other hand, the effects of social media have a negative impact on local communities. Some people on networking sites create fake accounts with good-looking pictures in which many are cheated by showing love towards them. In many cases, it can lead to cyberbullying which is detrimental to the society. For example, many individuals share pictures to random persons online and these have a most colossal chance of getting bullied by anonymous bullies. In addition to that, celebrities post attractive photos from their favourite vacation where many think that, they also want to be like them. As a result, the crime rate will substantially increase over a period of time. To conclude, although social networking sites gives chance to meet random persons online, it has negative impacts not only to individuals, but also to indigenous communities. I completely agree with this as it has detrimental effects to the homo-sapiens.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has become a burning issue these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites such as Facebook have had an
Possible spelling mistake found.
adverese
effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on society. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this, as this have had a damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites such as Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat to connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
from all parts of the world. They can message anonymous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
seeing their profile picture which
is uploaded
on the internet. If this
is continued
for a while, it can lead to anxiety and depression as they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than face-to-face. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts are harmful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the adults.

On the other hand
, the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on local communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on networking sites create fake accounts with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking pictures in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are cheated
by showing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, it can lead to cyberbullying which is detrimental to the society.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
share pictures to random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and these have a most colossal chance of getting bullied by anonymous bullies.
In addition
to that, celebrities post attractive photos from their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
vacation where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they
also
want to be like them.
As a result
, the crime rate will
substantially
increase over a period of time.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites gives chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to indigenous communities. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as it has detrimental effects to the homo-sapiens.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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