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Nowadays, it is increasingly more difficult to maintain the right balance between work and other aspects of one’s life, such as time with family and leisure needs. How important do you think is this balance? Why do people find it hard to achieve?

Nowadays, it is increasingly more difficult to maintain the right balance between work and other aspects of one’s life, such as time with family and leisure needs. How important do you think is this balance? Why do people find it hard to achieve? YL7W5
In recent years, the cities and working conditions are changing so fastly. Many people had to adapt this revolution. Some people claim that people are living in snugger life thanks to the equilibrium. Whereas, others people that unbalance and complexity puts an extra burden on the society. In my opinion, despite some drawbacks, the fact that correct balance has improved human's life shall not be ignored. Over the past years, many company from different countries have paid attention on bringing mental healthcare between work and daily life to every employee, which allows more workers to be benefit from the flexibity on their working condition thanks view of new trend companies. Through these new approach, people today are living a snugger and happier life. Eventually, the right balance is associated with working condition becomes a phenomenon that gives flexibility and inner peace on human's life. Thus, right balance has brought positive impacts human's life. In contrast, unregularly life style and bad working condition is creating negative impact on workers life. They weren't able to manage their life direction what they want. Many people is stucking between daily life and work. From this point of view, when the bad work condition is expanded around the world, the workers life are becoming a burden foIn conclusion, there is deed both positive and negative impact from right balance situation. However, it is almost impossible to neglect its benefits to everyone in the society the drawbacks shall be well handled.
In recent years, the cities and
working
conditions are changing
so
fastly
.
Many
people
had to adapt this revolution.
Some
people
claim that
people
are living in snugger
life
thanks to the equilibrium. Whereas, others
people
that unbalance and complexity puts an extra burden on the society. In my opinion, despite
some
drawbacks, the fact that correct
balance
has
improved
human's
life
shall not be
ignored
. Over the past years,
many
company
from
different
countries have paid attention on bringing mental healthcare between work and daily
life
to every employee, which
allows
more workers to be benefit from the
flexibity
on their
working
condition
thanks view of new trend
companies
. Through these new approach,
people
today
are living a snugger and happier
life
.
Eventually
, the right
balance
is associated
with
working
condition
becomes a phenomenon that gives flexibility and inner peace on human's
life
.
Thus
, right
balance
has brought
positive
impacts human's
life
.
In contrast
,
unregularly
life
style and
bad
working
condition
is creating
negative
impact on
workers
life
. They weren't able to manage their
life
direction what they want.
Many
people
is
stucking
between daily
life
and work. From this point of view, when the
bad
work
condition
is expanded
around the world, the
workers
life
are becoming a burden
foIn
conclusion, there
is deed
both
positive
and
negative
impact from right
balance
situation.
However
, it is almost impossible to neglect its benefits to everyone in the society the drawbacks shall be well handled.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, it is increasingly more difficult to maintain the right balance between work and other aspects of one’s life, such as time with family and leisure needs. How important do you think is this balance? Why do people find it hard to achieve?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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