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Nowadays is in some countries single young girls prefer to live a from the Paris the usually do so to study or work in different places do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages

Nowadays is in some countries single young girls prefer to live a from the Paris the usually do so to study or work in different places do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages 2Rngk
It it is indeed true that the number of young people working or studying away from home is higher than ever. This trend has emerged out of some factors typical to an interconnected world where each node offers different services from the other. There are several benefits of this situation. To begin with, certain academic courses are not available everywhere. Thus, students have to go to other cities where they can acquire education in the field of their choice. In addition, certain cities have developed a reputation of quality education providers. This also attracts students to those universities from across the world. Secondly, if we assess professionals, certain industries are well developed in some parts of their country. For example, if we talk about information technology in India it is highly developed in the southern parts of India. Thus, to get a competitive work environment and a handsome salary package a computer engineer ought to settle in that region. So, this arrangement is almost essential for students and professionals who seek vertical growth in their careers. On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks of staying away from home. Firstly, both, students and employees who are away from their home often feel lonely. They lack the emotional support, love, warmth and care given by their parents and in certain cases, loneliness lead to severe psychotic issues. Secondly, youngsters have to be more responsible compared to their years, in all aspects of life, as there is no one who can guide them. Finally, their lifestyle gets disturbed as they have to eat outside and sometimes, the food is neither hygienic, nor healthy. To conclude, I assert that the system of working or studying away from home has offered excellent growth opportunities. Therefore, I believe that this setup has more advantages as compared to disadvantages.
It seems you either mean "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
It it
is
indeed
true that the number of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working or studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home is higher than ever. This trend has emerged out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors typical to an interconnected world where each node offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
services from the other.

There are several benefits of this situation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
academic courses are not available everywhere.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to other cities where they can acquire education in the field of their choice.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
cities have developed a reputation of quality education providers. This
also
attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to those universities from across the world.
Secondly
, if we assess professionals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
industries are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of their country.
For example
, if we talk about information technology in India it is
highly
developed in the southern parts of India.
Thus
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a competitive work environment and a handsome salary package a computer engineer ought to settle in that region.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this arrangement is almost essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and professionals who seek vertical growth in their careers.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
drawbacks of staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home.
Firstly
, both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and employees who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel lonely. They lack the emotional support,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, warmth and care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
cases, loneliness lead to severe psychotic issues.
Secondly
, youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more responsible compared to their years, in all aspects of life, as there is no one who can guide them.
Finally
, their lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
disturbed as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat outside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, the food is neither hygienic, nor healthy.

To conclude
, I assert that the system of working or studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home has offered excellent growth opportunities.
Therefore
, I believe that this setup has more advantages as compared to disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Nowadays is in some countries single young girls prefer to live a from the Paris the usually do so to study or work in different places do you think this trend has more advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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