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nowadays internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. is this a positive or negative development

It is commonly believed that such media sources as Internet and television have provided even the simplest layer of the population with a great opportunity to become popular not only among one region but also throughout the world. I reckon that this development has both benefits and drawbacks and this essy intends to state both of them and give examples. First and foremost there are numerous apps and programs which are available through the net and any usual person who has them can become famous within several clicks by sharing their unusual videos. The television, in turn, serves the public with the number of shows where people presents extraordinary talents. Moreover, these days new types of jobs like viners and bloggers who are more popular than our great artists among the population. Let us take them as an example, unlike the singers and artists, they are not educated and they do not have any specific diploma. However, they have one item which is really important for them to attract the people it is a mobile phone. They are able to use a telephone in a positive way to become popular. On the other hand, it seems to me that the work of the artists is disappearing under the influence of internet and television where an ordinary person has a right to exchange their talents, videos and unuaual abilities. It is irrefutable that our beloved artists do not play any role in the development the local people, nowadays. That is to say, most people are influenced by the internet stars whom we call bloggers and viners. As a result, the cinemas are empty and movies are not interesting for the spectators. To sum up, social media types like internet and television are the easiest way for common people to become prominent. However, the celebrities are losing their popularity.
It is
commonly
believed that such media sources as Internet and
television
have provided even the simplest layer of the population with a great opportunity to
become
popular not
only
among one region
but
also
throughout the world. I reckon that this development has both benefits and drawbacks and this
essy
intends to state both of them and give examples.
First
and foremost there are numerous apps and programs which are available through the net and any usual person who has them can
become
famous
within several clicks by sharing their unusual videos. The
television
, in turn, serves the public with the number of
shows
where
people
presents
extraordinary talents.
Moreover
, these days new types of jobs like
viners
and bloggers who are more popular than our great
artists
among the population.
Let
us take them as an example, unlike the singers and
artists
, they are not
educated and
they do not have any specific diploma.
However
, they have one item which is
really
important
for them to attract the
people
it is a mobile phone. They are able to
use
a telephone in a
positive
way to
become
popular.
On the other hand
, it seems to me that the work of the
artists
is disappearing under the influence of internet and
television
where an ordinary person has a right to exchange their talents, videos and
unuaual
abilities. It is irrefutable that our beloved
artists
do not play any role in the development the local
people
, nowadays.
That is
to say, most
people
are influenced
by the internet stars whom we call bloggers and
viners
.
As a result
, the cinemas are empty and movies are not interesting for the spectators. To sum up, social media types like internet and
television
are the easiest way for common
people
to
become
prominent.
However
, the celebrities are losing their popularity.
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IELTS essay nowadays internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. is this a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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