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Nowadays, food connection of workplace is not crucial, as every individuals are focus on their work, this should primary goal for employees.

Nowadays, food connection of workplace is not crucial, as every individuals are focus on their work, this should primary goal for employees. mO38
Nowadays, food connection of workplace is not crucial, as every individuals are focus on their work, this should primary goal for employees. I partial agree this statements. To start with, everyone want to communicate with each workers. For this reason they think this is very important to their work. Firstly, some research witnessed this relationship is essential which they do at the work. For instance, The Reuters research registered, this situation is exceed 70 percentage efficiency. Secondly, good relationship of work is growing good attitude. As a result, some conflicts are decline at the job. I think that all of which are prime for the work. However, some cause witnessed this is not important for the job. First of all, improving your focus at work is essential completely task correctly. Unfortunately, demand relationship of workplace, our attention spans are decreasing. Secondly there are some factors that contribute to the loss of work focus such as relationship, stress and etc. These factors have been negatively impact our work. The Wart's News article pointed to the lost benefits of concenration and focus in the workplace because of strong relationship of workplace. To sum up, although there are potential disadvantage, they are outweighed by the positives.
Nowadays, food connection of workplace is not crucial, as every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "individual"?
individuals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, this should primary goal for employees.
Possible mistake. Please verify.
I partial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
Did you mean "these"?
this
statements.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to communicate with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "worker"?
workers
.
For this reason
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research witnessed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is essential which they do at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, The Reuters research registered, this situation is
Consider using a past participle here: "exceeded".
exceed
70 percentage efficiency.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts are decline
In English, people don't say "at the job". They say, 'on the job' or 'at work'. Did you mean "on the job" or "at work"?
at the job
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all of which are prime for the work.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cause witnessed this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the job.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, improving your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is essential completely task
correctly
. Unfortunately, demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of workplace, our attention spans are decreasing.
Secondly
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that contribute to the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. These factors have been
negatively
impact our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The Wart's News article pointed to the lost benefits of
Possible spelling mistake found.
concenration
and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
the workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of workplace.

To sum up, although there are potential disadvantage, they
are outweighed
by the positives.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, food connection of workplace is not crucial, as every individuals are focus on their work, this should primary goal for employees.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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