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Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

The members of families loves each other and relationships between them will be increased day by day. However, nowadays the bond and love are keep decreasing compared to past. I admit that I will discuss both causes and solutions. On the one hand, affection to our families is drastically changing as we are growing on. One of the most remarkable reasons for this view is, public are being addicted towards their work and job. This makes them to change they destination and at last, placed far away from home town. Many of employees in one state are been migrated from other states for the work and development of their families. For instance, 89% of people doesn’t work in their home town and work in other states by leaving their family love, as a result closeness between them fell, which is highlighted in the Time of India. On the same vein, numerous crowd attracted towards the technology and taking help by their gadgets by showing love and affection. Even they forget the responsibilities and taking care of their families by spending entire day on different activities. On the other hand, every problem has its own solution, people should try to find a good work in respected home towns by which they will have more time to spend and spread love with families. Moreover, it will be parent responsibility to teach and educate the children about sentiments, emotions and values of the family and living with them, where many parents fails. For example, coming generation people knows very less value of families while comparing to past people, which is written in the article o. In conclusion, it is evident that there are many problems that reduces the love but there is also a alternative.
The members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You should probably use “love”.
loves
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and relationships between them will
be increased
day by day.
However
, nowadays the bond and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
decreasing compared to past. I admit that I will discuss both causes and solutions.

On the one hand, affection to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is
drastically
changing as we are growing on. One of the most remarkable reasons for this view is, public are
being addicted
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and job. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘they’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they destination
and at last, placed far away from
The word “hometown” is normally spelled as one word.
home town
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of employees in one state
are been
migrated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
, 89% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
The word “hometown” is normally spelled as one word.
home town
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states by leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
,
as a result
closeness between them fell, which
is highlighted
in the Time of India.

On the same vein, numerous crowd attracted towards the technology and taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by their gadgets by showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and affection. Even they forget the responsibilities and taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
by spending entire day on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, every problem has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in respected
The word “hometowns” is normally spelled as one word.
home towns
by which they will have more time to spend and spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Moreover
, it will be parent responsibility to teach and educate the children about sentiments, emotions and values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and living with them, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents fails.
For example
, coming generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
knows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
while comparing to past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
is written
in the article o.

In conclusion
, it is evident that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
also
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
alternative.
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IELTS essay Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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