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Nowadays, environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual person or individual country. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Nowadays, environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual person or individual country. In other words, it is an international problem. v. 1
Every individual across the world has different opinions about handling the environmental issue. While I agree it should be considered as a universal problem, however, it is also a responsibility of every country and citizen of the country to manage the issue. To begin with, increase in population, deforestation, pollution, extensive industrialization are some of the major cause or this alarming environmental issue. All the developed countries should join hand with the developing countries and under developed countries to reduce the detrimental effects in the universe. As an example, an universal law should be enacted to control deforestation, and industrialization, which will be followed by the countries all around the globe. Obviously these kind of moments will lead to control the pollution as well which is a huge threat for the whole world. Moreover, organizations like UNESCO can actively take part for such global issues create awareness among it is people Although, it is an international issue, every country and citizen is also responsible to take care of their surroundings. The government should introduce compulsory reduce, reuse and recycle laws for unnatural products. Furthermore, rules and regulations have to be strict, so that people are forced to follow it. Industrial norms have to be framed in such a way that industries should not be built in the agricultural areas and near the rivers. Apart from this, self-discipline from every individual is mandatory to control the situation. People can avoid plastics and buy eco-friendly products, which will be an great step to create an polluted free environment. To conclude, environmental problems should be handled by local and international authorities as well as by individuals. Every single person should take care of the environment, moreover, we have to bring up our children to be conscious citizens of a clean and preserved planet.
Every individual across the world has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about handling the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it should
be considered
as a universal problem,
however
, it is
also
a responsibility of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and citizen of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to manage the issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, increase in population, deforestation, pollution, extensive industrialization are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major cause or this alarming environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. All the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hand with the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and under developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the detrimental effects in the universe. As an example,
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
universal law should
be enacted
to control deforestation, and industrialization, which will
be followed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
all around the globe.
Obviously
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of moments will lead to control the pollution
as well
which is a huge threat for the whole world.
Moreover
, organizations like UNESCO can
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
for such global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
create awareness among it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


Although, it is an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and citizen is
also
responsible to take care of their surroundings. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce compulsory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, reuse and recycle laws for unnatural products.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be strict,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to follow it. Industrial norms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be framed
in such a way that industries should not
be built
in the agricultural areas and near the rivers. Apart from this, self-discipline from every individual is mandatory to control the situation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can avoid plastics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
eco-friendly products, which will be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
great step to create
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
polluted free environment.

To conclude
, environmental problems should
be handled
by local and international authorities
as well
as by individuals. Every single person should take care of the environment,
moreover
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bring up our children to be conscious citizens of a clean and preserved planet.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual person or individual country. In other words, it is an international problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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