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Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it?

Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it? 30m9Y
Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it? Technological improvements are already part of us and we all need to adapt to them for the sake of developing any society. Computers are an essential part of these improvements. They are user-friendly, fast, and can collect huge data. Generation Z started to use computers from an early age. Children play a lot of video games in front of computers for hours long. And some parents are not happy about that. They assume that it can damage their children’s eyes or make them anti-social, etc. It is important to understand the essence of computer skills for the cognitive and physical development of children. They can have access to huge information and knowledge with help of the Internet. They can read a lot of books or watch videos for their self-development. Unfortunately, generation X has a lot of myths and taboos about computers. In order to change the bad stereotype about computers, parents should be influenced through some seminars or mass media about the importance of having computers skills. Also since parents rely on their family doctors, they can give them recommendations about the daily usage of the computers for children. Besides the aforementioned methods, there are a lot of other ways to convince the parents why they should allow their children to play with computers. And I hope that one day parents will also understand the importance to use computers from an early age for the development of any child.
Nowadays, computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in almost every field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers.

Why is this?

How can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it?

Technological improvements are already part of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
we all need to adapt to them for the sake of developing any society. Computers are an essential part of these improvements. They are user-friendly,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, and can collect huge data.

Generation Z
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers from an early age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of video games in front of computers for hours long. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not happy about that. They assume that it can damage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
eyes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them anti-social, etc.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand the essence of computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for the cognitive and physical development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They can have access to huge information and knowledge with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet. They can read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
videos for their self-development. Unfortunately, generation X has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of myths and taboos about computers. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
stereotype about computers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be influenced
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seminars or mass media about the importance of having computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Also
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rely on their family doctors, they can give them recommendations about the daily usage of the computers for children.

Besides
the aforementioned methods, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of other ways to convince the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
why they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play with computers. And I hope that one day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
also
understand the importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers from an early age for the development of any child.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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