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Essay of my passion to Kyoto college

Essay of my passion to Kyoto college Mqp19
As human health and sanitation have become vital today due to global warming and pandemics, and the demand for medical personnel and technology surge, I am very passionate to work in medical technology to improve health services accessibility. With a strong background in mathematics and physics, I have decided to pursue a career as a medical engineer. Learning foundation engineering subjects at KUAS will provide me with crucial knowledge and I hope to develop my ability to solve real-world global problems through the study of computer-aided design and manufacturing. I find the research conducted by Professor Sajid Nisar, teaching at the Department of Advanced Science, to be particularly invigorating. This will open up for me a whole new world of medical innovation, integrating mathematics with the medical field. With intensive courses taught in small groups and with 13 distinctive fields of engineering being offered before applying this knowledge to focus on solving real global issues, I believe that KUAS will give me a thorough background in this field and open up more diverse fields of study. Although I prefer to study on the international course, I am aware of the importance of studying Japanese as well so I am currently learning Japanese through an online program and look forward to learning on the intensive Japanese program of the university so that I will be able to adapt to living happily in Japan. Nevertheless, studying and living overseas would provide several obstacles for me, such as new environments, new friends, and new content. When I first started studying at my present high school – Kamnoetvidya Science Academy – I had many of these problems as well. However, I overcame the difficulties and I learned how to prioritize tasks and work under pressure. Cooperation with people of different backgrounds also helps me consciously cope with obstacles. Researching healthcare is my fascination. I am sure that with top experts and effective studies, KUAS can enhance my capability, support my curiosity, and provide qualitative research experience combining medical and mechanical fields.
As human health and sanitation have become vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
due to global warming and pandemics, and the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
personnel and technology surge, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
passionate to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health services accessibility. With a strong background in mathematics and physics, I have decided to pursue a career as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
engineer. Learning foundation engineering subjects at
Possible spelling mistake found.
KUAS
will provide me with crucial knowledge and I hope to develop my ability to solve real-world global problems through the study of computer-aided design and manufacturing.

I find the research conducted by Professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sajid
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nisar
, teaching at the Department of Advanced Science, to be
particularly
invigorating. This will open up for me a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
innovation, integrating mathematics with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. With intensive courses taught in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups and with 13 distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of engineering
being offered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying this knowledge to focus on solving real global issues, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
KUAS
will give me a thorough background in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and open up more diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of study.

Although I prefer to study on the international course, I am aware of the importance of studying Japanese
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am
currently
learning Japanese through an online program and look forward to learning on the intensive Japanese program of the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I will be able to adapt to living
happily
in Japan.

Nevertheless
, studying and living overseas would provide several obstacles for me, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
content. When I
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
studying at my present high school
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kamnoetvidya
Science Academy
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these problems
as well
.
However
, I overcame the difficulties and I learned how to prioritize tasks and work under pressure. Cooperation with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me
consciously
cope with obstacles.

Researching healthcare is my fascination. I am sure that with top experts and effective studies,
Possible spelling mistake found.
KUAS
can enhance my capability, support my curiosity, and provide qualitative research experience combining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and mechanical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
.
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IELTS essay Essay of my passion to Kyoto college

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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