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What are the problem of Childhood obeysity and try to give a measures

What are the problem of Childhood obeysity and try to give a measures 6m5jr
In many nations, kids have a tendency towards fatness which is becoming a significant issue. The problems that happen as a result of childhood obesity will be analysed in this essay before several possible measures are proposed. To begin with there are two main effects related to the problem that can be anticipated. Firstly, obesity puts a child at a higher risk of psychological problems such as body shaming, bullying and depression. Those who are body shamed when they appear overweight or different from other child. In other words, they may not conform to society's ideals beauty. This crushes the self-esteem and confidence of another human being. Consequently, they gradually become depressed, turn on themself, and avoid communicating with people. A study revealed that teasing and bullying overweight children could act as a catalyst in further increasing their weight by 33 percent. Suffering from various health problems is another result of being overweight in children. Obesity is associated with a shorter lifespan and with an increased risk of many chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, heart attack and even cancer. The children can also feel restless and turn all night because of sleeping disorders from obesity. Several actions could be taken to eradicate the problems described above. The first solution is to maintain a balanced diet. People should follow the food hierarchy, eat more veggies as well as fruits, and drink more water. In particular, you need to cut back on fat and sugar intake to a minimum. As it helps them be in good shape, catching everyone's attention by body. The second solution is to establish a healthy lifestyle. By doing exercise regularly, people recharge their batteries. It's an amazing way to burn energy, which reduces weight and fat. To sum up, the main effects of obesity are psychological problems and physical health problems. Various measures can be taken to tackle the problems such as maintaining a healthy eating pattern and creating a healthy way of living.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, kids have a tendency towards fatness which is becoming a significant issue. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that happen
as a result
of childhood obesity will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
several possible measures
are proposed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with there are two main effects related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that can
be anticipated
.
Firstly
, obesity puts a child at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as body shaming, bullying and depression. Those who are body shamed when they appear overweight or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from other child.
In other words
, they may not conform to society's ideals beauty. This crushes the self-esteem and confidence of another human being.
Consequently
, they
gradually
become depressed, turn on
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
, and avoid communicating with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A study revealed that teasing and bullying overweight children could act as a catalyst in
further
increasing their weight by 33 percent. Suffering from various health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is another result of being overweight in children. Obesity
is associated
with a shorter lifespan and with an increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, heart attack and even cancer. The children can
also
feel restless and turn all night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sleeping disorders from obesity.

Several actions could
be taken
to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. The
first
solution is to maintain a balanced diet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should follow the food hierarchy, eat more veggies
as well
as fruits, and drink more water.
In particular
, you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar intake to a minimum. As it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape, catching everyone's attention by body. The second solution is to establish a healthy lifestyle. By doing exercise
regularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
recharge their batteries. It's an amazing way to burn energy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
weight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

To sum up, the main effects of obesity are psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and physical health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Various measures can
be taken
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as maintaining a healthy eating pattern and creating a healthy way of living.
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IELTS essay What are the problem of Childhood obeysity and try to give a measures

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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