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Nowadays cities have become more crowded. What are the reasons? How can it be solved? Is it a positive or negative development.

Overpopulation in various cities is becoming an issue for discussion of late. This is due a number of contributing factors such as; quest for better employment and education and the availability of amenities in the urban areas. Some measures to resolve this situation are; development of the rural areas and improving social and other useful amenities in the rural areas by the government. I believe this rural-urban migration is an adverse development which needs to be addressed. The decision of people in seeking for employment and opportunity to achieve higher education in the urban areas, in addition to the availability of amenities in these areas has resulted in a massive rural-urban migration. People in deprived environments lack basic facilities like advanced hospital and schools which contribute to a better standard of living. Inadequate jobs in most rural towns compel the youth to migrate to cities where they may get satisfying jobs to better their lives. For instance, a city like Accra in Ghana has a plethora of young individuals who have moved from their villages to seek for greener pastures. These frequently result in over crowding in the receiving cities leading to pressure on social amenities. On the other hand, developing rural areas by creating jobs and improving amenities such as hospital by governments and non-governmental organizations may be of a high benefit thereby preventing people from relocating. When adequate jobs are established as well as supporting entrepreneurs would encourage them to remain in their localities. Also, schools need to be well-equipped to enhance learning at various levels of education. For example, all universities and well paid jobs interestingly are located in cities making it inaccessible unless one moves to the urban areas. Therefore, it is imperative to consider these suggested solutions to control the migration rate. To sum up, a number of people are moving to urban for employment and to enjoy high standard amenities on the contrary, improving job opportunities and social facilities by governments are essential in dealing with this phenomenon which is an adverse situation.
Overpopulation in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is becoming an issue for discussion of late. This is due a number of contributing factors such as; quest for better employment and education and the availability of amenities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures to resolve this situation are; development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and improving social and other useful amenities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. I believe this rural-urban migration is an adverse development which needs to
be addressed
.

The decision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in seeking for employment and opportunity to achieve higher education in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
in addition
to the availability of amenities in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has resulted in a massive rural-urban migration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in deprived environments lack basic facilities like advanced hospital and schools which contribute to a better standard of living. Inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
towns compel the youth to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to better their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, a city like Accra in Ghana has a plethora of young individuals who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from their villages to seek for greener pastures. These
frequently
result in over crowding in the receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leading to pressure on social amenities.

On the other hand
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and improving amenities such as hospital by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and non-governmental organizations may be of a high benefit thereby preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from relocating.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are established
as well
as supporting entrepreneurs would encourage them to remain in their localities.
Also
, schools need to be well-equipped to enhance learning at various levels of education.
For example
, all universities and well paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
interestingly
are located
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
making it inaccessible unless one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Therefore
, it is imperative to consider these suggested solutions to control the migration rate.

To sum up, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
for employment and to enjoy high standard amenities
on the contrary
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and social facilities by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are essential in dealing with this phenomenon which is an adverse situation.
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IELTS essay Nowadays cities have become more crowded. What are the reasons? How can it be solved? Is it a positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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